Cloverfield
by UpsidedownShortcake
Summary: Gamzee is reunited with his long lost love after seven years thanks to a chance motorcycle accident. So why doesn't Tavros seem to remember him? And who's this Dave guy? Nothing to do with the movie Cloverfield xD AU, Humanstuck, PBJ, Davros, GamKat
1. Chapter 1

**So I can't remember why this idea suddenly popped into my head, but it did. So I did a small drabble and I don't know if I really like it. It seemed sort of better in my head, but I dunno? I have a little more written out but I'm not sure if I'm going to post the rest or even continue this. But I guess if enough people end up liking it I won't just...not finish it. XD **

**ANYWAY. The story pretty much speaks for itself, but if you're still a little confused by the end of the chapter that's all right. XD **

**Let's see, do I need any filters or anything of that sort? GamTav GamKat Davros are the main pairings here. But Eri and Erisol will most likely be sort of important as well if I decide to I should warn you it's told in conflicting perspectives...xDD  
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**This beginning seemed kind of slow to me, so I hope it's not like...agonizingly boring or anything. XD  
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…**.So...enjoy! :D (Btw, the title has absolutely nothing to do with the story. I'm just bad at titles)**

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><p>"Fuck fuck fuck." Gamzee thought to himself, swerving through traffic with record speed. He could already tell today was not going to be a good day. His boss let him out late <em>again, <em>and his car had been booted for being less than an inch inside the redzone. In his haste to walk home and grab his Scoot, he dropped his cellphone in the gutter and no he has no way to contact his boyfriend whom he was on his way to pick up.

"Dammit," Gamzee whispered, braking rather abruptly, causing his body to jerk violently forward. "Fuck, He's gonna murder me."

He didn't think to borrow a cell from Eridan in the neighboring room of their apartment building, but he was probably meeting with Sollux or Feferi anyway. The thought of his little sister getting all intimate and nasty with his friend and neighbor was kind of offputting to Gamzee, as it would be with any older brother, but what made him angrier was that he was almost positive Eridan was seeing Sollux behind her back.

But a true motherfucker doesn't stir the pot if he's not sure what's in it yet, so instead he silently survey's the apartment across the hall, waiting for even a hint of infidelity.

A loud honk snapped Gamzee out of his thoughts and he revved his engine at whatever motherfucker was getting their panties in a bunch before speeding off with a wheelie. He didn't usually showboat, but he could really use some cheering up and doing cool tricks on his bike always made him feel that much better.

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><p>"Oh shoot, oh shoot," Tavros thought, collecting his paper's as they flew away. He was too clumsy on his new prosthetic legs, so he was constantly falling and he felt absolutely ridiculous! But ever since Equius' last upgrade he'd been even clumsier. Despite this, however, walking and doing other such activities felt a lot smoother and more natural.<p>

Tavros managed to collect all his papers, although no one had even bothered to help him. He hurriedly checked his watch, jumping up with a gasp. "Oh shoot!" he cried, hurrying off down the street. "He's gonna be pretty upset if I'm late! Even though he's late all the time himself," he murmured to himself, blushing a bit when he realized he'd spoken those words instead of just thought them.

Today was already turning out to be pretty upsetting. His appointment with Equius ran long because the man was being ridiculously sweaty and...well, Tavros was pretty sure he was sort of aroused when he spotted the boy's metal chest adornments whilst upgrading Tavros' legs. It wasn't his idea, honestly, his boyfriend insisted nipple rings would look fantastic. And being the pushover he was, Tavros gave in and agreed to it.

Upon seeing them, Equius became a clammy sweating mess and began murmuring things about lewdness or something. Tavros was too embarrassed to pay attention and basically tried to tune it out, but that wasn't even the beginning. Long story short, he was targeted by a bird, had fallen and dropped his papers at least three times, and got yelled at by his professor.

He stood at the crosswalk, pressing the button in rapid succession in an attempt to make the light change faster. There wasn't even any cars coming! Tavros huffed and rolled onto the balls of his feet and then to his heels and back again a few times. Finally, with no cars coming and the light showing no signs of changing, he decided to run across. The street was long and drawn out and just as he got to the middle, he tripped right onto his face, his work papers spilling out of his hands.

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><p>Gamzee turned into an alley, crossing to the next street over since it was rather deserted at this time of day. Most people were at work and the only stores that occupied the area weren't ideal for everyday shopping.<p>

He took either hand off its handle, one after the other, and flexed his fingers. They were beginning to stiffen as he twisted the accelerator forward.

His boyfriend hated the motorcycle, but he'd have to handle it just for today.

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><p>Tavros got up, a dull ache in his hip. "God..." he sighed, rubbing at it. Generally standing in the middle of the street was hardly a good idea, but he couldn't even so much as hear a car, but there was some sort of dull buzzing in his ear. He ignored it and bent down to pick up his papers. By the time the next day would roll around, they'd be ruined for sure.<p>

Tavros rubbed the back of his neck as he stood straight again. He felt miserable. That was the worst faceplant he'd had since...ever, probably!

The buzzing became louder and he finally realized that it was the engine of a motorcycle. He seriously hated those things, all loud and obnoxious! It was probably the next street over, he thought to himself, beginning to walk again. He'd barely even made it halfway through the street, he realized, and every step and twist of his body caused another dull pain to arise.

Suddenly, the motorcycle sounded incredibly close. Almost like it was coming right down the street. Tavros turned, paranoid, and suddenly it came into view.

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><p>Gamzee gasped at the silhouette of a pedestrian using the crosswalk during a green light. He did the first thing that came to mind which was to turn sharply in an attempt to avoid the moron that was too impatient to wait a minute or two for a motherfucking light. Whatever he was hurrying off to shouldn't be important enough to risk his life for!<p>

The motorcycle tilted at an impossible angle and he was forced to abandon his vehicle, leather meeting black concrete as he slid across the street, finally rolling and then landing for good. He was only grateful that he'd decided to wear his helmet today.

The wind was momentarily knocked out of him, so standing and even breathing was asking too much of himself. He merely laid there, trying to recover as quickly as possible so he could get to his boyfriend faster, and possibly tear that impatient motherfucker he'd almost run into a new asshole.

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><p>Tavros gasped, looking around in every direction his head could possibly pivot to. He had no idea what had happened at first, he was completely taken off guard. It took him a few moments to notice the motorcycle guy lying on the floor, still.<p>

"Oh my god!" he cried, looking around frantically. "Someone call an ambulance!" But with most of the shops either abandoned or closed, getting someone's attention would be hard. "Oh my God, oh my God!" Tavros cried, clutching the side of his head as he fell to his knees.

He nearly ripped the man's helmet off, the familiar tuft of purple-black hair startling him for a moment, triggering something nostalgic that he couldn't quite place his finger on.

"Are you all right, sir?" Tavros asked, trying his hardest not to anxiously shake the man to try and awaken him. "Shoot, shoot, I don't know mouth to mouth...please don't die," he whispered to himself, awkwardly attempting a few chest compressions.

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><p>Gamzee groaned, trembling slightly. The fall may had been worse than he anticipated but he honestly didn't feel too bad, just a bit shaken. But whatever idiot was crying and jerking him around really wasn't helping.<p>

Normally, he wouldn't be as peeved as he felt at the moment, even if the kid had almost gotten him killed, but today was especially emotionally exhausting and it was only getting worse. Plus, imagining his upset boyfriend was not helping.

He finally sighed and decided he wasn't going to die and opened his eyes, thought he really wanted to just sleep for a good day or two. Or maybe just light up once, but that would be impossible until he picked up his boyfriend and got back to the apartment-

Suddenly he froze. He must have been dead. He fell, slid, and must have been crushed between a concrete wall and his Scoot. That was certainly, without a doubt what happened, and he couldn't be happier.

He abruptly sat up, wincing a bit as his ribs were jarred. He actually felt a lot shittier than he'd expected, on second thought. Maybe he wasn't dead. Because if he was dead, he wouldn't be in that much pain.

"Be careful!" Tavros cried, putting his hands on Gamzee's shoulders. "Be careful...that was a really bad fall. I'm, uh, really really sorry, it's all my fault!" he said hurriedly, tilting Gamzee's head so he could examine him. "Are you all right, sir? My car is right there, I can take you to a Doctor. He'll see you immediately, if you, uh, need one, okay? But I really think you should because that was really bad, and oh my god, is anything broken? Are you _okay_?"

"Holy shit," Gamzee couldn't believe his eyes as he drank in the sight of Tavros. "Holy shit, Tav..." He slumped forward slightly, rubbing his eye sockets. "Holy shit I can't believe this..."

"I...uh...excuse me? What did you call me?" Tavros asked, looking a bit confused.

"Tavbro, Tavros, holy shit..." Gamzee repeated, biting his lip as his eyes began to water. He hugged Tavros with all his strength, unable to believe that he was able to hold the boy again.

"Uh, I uhm, h-how do you know my name?" Tavros murmured. "I think you hit your head really hard?" He regarded his nametag for a second. Okay, so there was a perfectly logical explanation. This guy must have hit his head really bad, subconsciously glimpsed his nametag and now was confusing him with a girlfriend or something.

Gamzee pulled away. "Man, Tavbro, you're not making any motherfuckin sense, and I don't even motherfuckin care. Shit, I motherfuckin love you, I love you so much-" He cut himself short by grabbing Tavros by the shoulders and pulling him in for a passionate kiss, catching the boy completely by surprise, and yet it felt incredibly right. Like a giant weight had been lifted from his life.

He quickly caught himself and pushed the man away. "I'm sorry sir, but I think you've hit your head really bad, let me take you to the hospital!" He stood and helped the man up, trembling a bit from the aftereffects of the kiss. He hastily led the man to his car, helping him inside.

"Tav, it's Gamzee, what the Hell!" Gamzee said, covering Tavros' hand as the boy began to turn on the car.

"I'm sorry, but you're obviously going through some head trauma and I'm on my way to the hospital anyway, so please just try and relax until I can get you some help, all right?" Tavros asked.

Gamzee watched as Tavros began to drive. For now he'd have to humor him, and after all was said and done, he'd sit the boy down and stimulate his memory. It had been several years since Gamzee last saw him anyway, and since then he'd stopped wearing his silly Subjugglator makeup, so it sort of made sense that Tavros was confused. But even with a different haircut and a slightly less baby-ish face, Gamzee remembered Tavros in haunting detail. He could never forget his first- possibly his only- love.


	2. Hospital Jokes

**Hm, okay so this is basically the second chapter which was actually the second half of the first chapter. But, since I like to keep my chapters relatively short for easier reading breaks, I added onto the end and formed a whole new chapter! **

**I'm still not very sure if I'll continue this, but I'm leaning more towards yes. : )**

**Also keep in mind I've never written Dave or a character quite like Dave, so I apologize if he ever gets...out of character. xD  
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**Enjoy! **

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><p>Finally, after twenty or so minutes, they pulled up to the hospital where they were greeted by a young blonde haired guy. He looked way too young to be a doctor, but lo and behold he was clad in Doctor's gear and even had a nifty stethoscope. Tavros had made a brief phone call to said gentleman in the car, but Gamzee was a bit too disoriented to pay attention.<p>

Both Tavros and Blonde Guy helped Gamzee out of the car and steadily led him into the waiting room so they could get some forms.

"You're really late," Dave murmured sidewards to Tavros, eying Gamzee who was sitting in one of the waiting room chairs, looking around rather blankly.

Tavros gave a soft sigh and then a weak smile. "It's been a long day."

"You're always bringing me strays. You are seriously the clumsiest person I've known in my entire life," Dave murmured, checking some boxes on his forms. "And not even in a cool way either."

Tavros rolled his eyes, laughing a bit. "Yeah, I know, I'm a, uh, dork, and you're super cool and whatever."

Dave smiled a bit, taking his sunglasses off. "Well you may be a dork, but you're, uh, my favorite, uh, dork...uh."

"Don't, uh, don't make fun of me!" Tavros fumed just a bit too loudly, catching the attention of a few people in the waiting room, not discluding a certain dark haired motorcyclist.

Dave smirked and grabbed Tavros around the waist, kissing him with gentle force. "Well don't be so make-fun-ofable," he whispered.

Tavros shook his head as Dave's breath tickled his neck, and he couldn't resist letting out a slight giggle.

"Hey!" Gamzee stood from the waiting room chair, yanking Dave by the coat so he was detached and distanced from Tavros. "You're cheating on me with this motherfuckin tool! What the Hell Tavros!"

Dave frowned, holding his hand up to security so they knew Gamzee wasn't a problem yet. "Tavros, bring your friend to my office. He's making the other patients antsy."

Tavros nodded, and took Gamzee's arm, steadying him as he followed Dave's retreating form. The severity of this odd situation hadn't really hit him yet, so he felt a sort of numb calmness, if not a little fear. This Gamzee guy could be a stalker lunatic, for all he knew!

Dave ushered them into his office and sat at his desk, gesturing Tavros over. "So, Mister...what was it again?" he asked, pulling Tavros into his lap a bit too deliberately for Gamzee's tastes.

"My name is Gamzee motherfuckin Makara, and I don't know who you think you are, but that's my motherfuckin boyfriend you're acting all up and cozy with!" Gamzee accused, pressing his index finger into the desk.

Tavros flinched a bit, burying his face into Dave's neck. Dave sent Gamzee a withering glare, his frown deepening. "Well, Mister Makara, I don't know who you think _you _are, but Tavros and I have been dating for well over six years now, and neither of us have ever seen you in our lives."

Gamzee let out a frustrated sigh, trying to search for the right words. "Dammit...c'mon Tav, you have to remember! We've been dating since we were like twelve motherfuckin years old! It's me, Gamzee, remember Kanaya and Karkat and the others? They said we were as close as motherfuckin...pb and j! Just...I don't motherfuckin know, maybe if we just go out one more time you'll remember."

Dave narrowed his eyes, removing his sunglasses again so Gamzee could take note of his seriousness. "Mister Makara, that is extremely inappropriate and, were we not in my office, I promise you I would be far less professional than I am being right now and would quite possibly rip your shit apart, but while I'm in a professional environment I can't even insinuate that I'm feeling such a way so please leave before things get really fucking unprofessional in here."

Tavros leaned back and stared at Dave. "...You've been, uh, hanging around your sister too much," he murmured quietly.

Dave smirked a bit, shrugging proudly. Tavros knew all too well that Dave had trouble acting professionally, even when at the Hospital, but he was gradually able to keep himself from ripping too harshly into the patients and staff alike as the years went on.

"But I digress." Dave looked up, targeting Gamzee. "Get the Hell out of my office before I call security, and if I ever see you around my boyfriend again I won't hesitate to hospitalize you."

"Uh...Dave," Tavros murmured. He felt a bit bad for kicking Gamzee out after dragging him all the way to the hospital, only to be yelled at and threatened, but he was abruptly interrupted.

Gamzee stood. "I swear to all the motherfuckin gods that'll listen. Tav, I'll make you remember," he murmured, before ducking out of Dave's office.

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><p>"Good afternoon Mister Makara. I haven't seen you in a while," Rose said, a small smile on her face. "Did something happen? You sounded urgent on the phone."<p>

Gamzee paced the office of his long-time therapist, Rose Lalonde. "They told me he was dead, Rose. But I motherfuckin saw him! I mean, at first I tried to put some of your fuckin psycho-analysis shit to it, but it was definitely him!"

Rose leaned back in her chair, writing something in her notebook. "I assume you're speaking of Mister Nitram."

"Of course I motherfuckin am! Rose cut the Therapist crap I need advice from you as a friend, all right?" Gamzee asked, sitting down hard as he templed his fingers and thought.

"Gamzee, remember the other times you 'saw' Tavros and it ended up not being Tavros?" Rose asked, her distinct professionalism dropping a few levels. "Remember how upsetting it was for you? I thought we were passed that."

"But it really _was _him! The guy's name was even Tavros! And...and he looked the motherfuckin same!" Gamzee leaned back, rubbing his eyes. "It wasn't like some sort of weird mental projection or whatever bullshit therapist term you can think of-"

"Gamzee look-" Rose uncrossed her legs, leaning forward. "There are plenty of Tavros' in the world, and while the chances of you meeting one that looks like your past lover is sort of...far-fetched, you can't just assume and start barging in on other people's lives."

"Speaking of lives!" Gamzee interjected. "He's met this guy, apparently. Some motherfucker named Dave or some shit. After all we've been through together can you motherfuckin believe that?"

"Oh-" Rose stopped herself, putting her notepad down. There was a moment of awkward silence before Gamzee finally spoke up.

"What?"

"Nothing. Now, how did this make you feel?" Rose asked just a bit too quickly.

Gamzee eyed her. "Rose..."

Rose let out a slight sigh. "It's unprofessional for me to state my private matters during an appointment and-"

"Rose, we're friends outside of therapy, okay, we have coffee together basically every morning," Gamzee said steadily, the frantic cursing momentarily leaving his voice as he tried to reason with the girl.

Rose sighed. "Okay, this is off the record. You're talking about Dave Strider, correct?"

Gamzee nodded slightly. "I motherfuckin think so...yes. He's a doctor at Skaia Hospital."

"Dave is my brother," Rose explained, rubbing the back of her neck. "I can't believe I didn't put two and two together, but I've only met his fiance a handful of times and even then it was only briefly."

Gamzee laughed a bit nervously. "Ha...holy motherfuckin shit," he murmured.

Rose watched him. "What are you referring to?"

"Well you said his fiance, I know you're not thinkin about motherfuckin Tavbro," Gamzee said offhandedly, closing his eyes.

"Tavros and Dave have been engaged for the better half of two years now," Rose said. "But remember, you don't know if this is your Tavros."

"Well...what's your brother's-" Gamzee looked sullen. "-Fiancee's motherfuckin surname or whatever?"

Rose shrugged. "I've only met him once, only for a moment, and since then I've only really caught glimpses of him. Dave is very private and protective of his love life."

"Rose you can't not believe this isn't my Tavros," Gamzee said anxiously, grabbing a stress reliever ball from the aforementioned therapist-friend's desk. He squeezed hard, beginning to break into something of a cold sweat. "He's clumsy, he stutters, he's fucking gorgeous, even more than when we were kids. He's overly apologetic, a bit hopeless, and he still does this cute wrinkling of his nose when he's nervous."

"You could be imagining those certain mannerisms to suit this boy you've run into. It's your subconscious clinging to that last hope that he's alive after all. Gamzee, I know you don't want to hear this, but the authorities did confirm his death and closed the case," Rose said softly, squeezing his shoulder. "Leave that poor boy alone."

"Rose you're not motherfuckin listening to me! It's him! It's him for sure! My motherfuckin hand to God. They never found a body or any undeniable evidence. He was only missing. It's him, Rose, please believe me. No one else will, they never have," Gamzee said pleadingly, clutching his head as a dull pain began to blossom. "Fuck...it's him, Rose."

Rose let out an elongated sigh, shaking her head. "Well if you and Tavros were together as long as you say, you should have video tapes and pictures, correct? If you can get the evidence, I'll speak with Dave and will try and sort all of this out." Rose took note of Gamzee's hesitance. "Is something the matter with this course of action?"

Gamzee scratched the back of his head. "Before I moved out here with Kar, our old apartment burnt down. I lost everything I fucking had."

Rose tapped her fingers on the arm of her chair, leaning back. "Well, there's nothing I can offer you but to let go of him. Whether it's your Tavros or not, he has obviously moved on, and I think you should too. I'm obviously saying this is a friend and not a therapist."

Gamzee shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. "I can't do that Rose, okay? I will never- I have never- loved anyone more than Tavros. He wouldn't just move on like that because he felt the same. We were together since he was twelve and I was fourteen, and until he went missing when he was seventeen. We never fought or argued or had any problems. We just motherfuckin...loved each other more than air, you know?"

"Stability does not always equate with love. You both were young, it was all you knew and so, since you got along so well, you never ended up breaking it off. Everything was fine and then he suddenly vanishes. He probably got...bored," Rose said quietly. "I hate to say it, Gamzee, but that's the most likely case if Dave's Tavros is also your Tavros."

"So then why would he just motherfuckin ignore me after all we fuckin had?" Gamzee asked sharply.

"He's afraid of wanting to go back to the stability of being with his best friend. It's not uncommon in marriages nowadays. Marriage has become less of an impulse of love and more of a stability with someone you get along with. Now I'm not telling you to take this to heart or anything, it's just how I see it. Gamzee, let him go," Rose said. "You're in denial."

Gamzee leaned back, mulling it over in his mind before he came to a final decision. "No. I love him. I'm not letting him go. They can call the cops and beat me motherfuckin dumb. I don't care."

Rose smiled a bit. "While I can't condone your decision as a therapist, I will support it as a friend. But also, as a sister, I would like to inform my brother of your intentions, but as a therapist it is morally wrong. Though, since it was off the record it is perfectly fine, but as a-"

Gamzee held up a hand, a bit elated that someone was actually supporting his search for once. "Stop, I get it," he said in between a small laugh. "At least give me a motherfuckin head start before you go all tellin your brother. I can't help but feel a little intimidated, even if he is all motherfuckin smaller than me."


	3. Coffee and Thai Food

**Hur hur, I'm still unsure, but I'm still leaning towards finishing this. I'd feel really bad already having three chapters completed and then just being a troll. xD **

**So uh...I don't know...if you guys have any suggestions or feedback make sure to send that my way. xD So yes! Please enjoy. :)  
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><p>After retrieving his motorcycle from the middle of the street, Gamzee made his way home. As was predictable, rain had begun to fall in buckets. Too weak and a bit too shaken after everything that had happened that day, Gamzee could only walk his motorcycle the three miles it took to get back to his and his boyfriend's apartment.<p>

He suddenly tensed. His boyfriend. He'd forgotten to pick Karkat up from his job at Paradise Games. With his helmet tucked under his arm, he used his freehand to hit himself in the forehead with his palm. For all he knew, he could have gotten a concussion, but really that was the smallest of his problems.

He parked his motorcycle on the street in front of their apartment, his neck hurt and he wanted nothing more than to sleep the pain away. In the moment, it seemed like he hadn't gotten any serious injuries, but now that he was settled down a bit, the pain was beginning to settle in.

He sighed when he spotted the dark gray figure sitting underneath the scarce protection the apartment building provided. His hood was up and he was most likely listening to his Ipod, so he was startled when Gamzee abruptly picked him up.

Karkat shoved at the man, growling. "Don't fucking touch me asshole!" he yelled, pulling out his earbuds as he tried to squirm away, but alas he was too small weak and cold.

"Man, I'm motherfuckin sorry Kar," Gamzee sighed. "Today's been motherfuckin hectic, okay?"

Karkat snorted. "I had to walk like six miles to get here, and _you _took the keys so I couldn't fucking get upstairs! Fuck you!" he yelled again.

"Kar I saw Tavros. I mean not like a motherfuckin apparition or some shit, but I actually saw _him. _He's fuckin...all grown up and beautiful and shit," Gamzee whispered, setting Karkat down.

Karkat looked down, fidgeting a bit. He was noticeably calmer than he had been only seconds ago. "Just open the fucking door. We'll order out tonight."

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><p>Gamzee looked at his Pad Thai, but he didn't have much of an appetite. "It was such a motherfuckin coincidence. I don't wanna be all preachy and god-y and shit, but I think he was motherfuckin sent to me."<p>

Karkat sighed, swallowing a mouthful of coconut curry and rice. "Gamzee we've been fucking through this about a thousand fucking times. Vriska and the others were found dead, okay? I'm not going to fucking try and sugar coat it for you anymore. Even though Tavros' body wasn't found, there was enough of his fucking blood all over the fucking place to pretty much assure that, even by the off chance that he got away, there's not doubt he fucking bled to death anyway."

"Karkat!" Gamzee yelled, clutching his head. "Motherfucking...would you just fucking believe me? It's really _him _this time! I swear to fucking god."

Karkat leaned back. "I just don't want to fucking go through what we went through before, okay? I can't keep being fucking strong for you every time you have a break down. I mean, I'm a pretty fucking strong person, but...I mean you're my best friend. It fucking tears me apart to see you all fucked up like that."

Gamzee, looked down, nibbling his bottom lip. "Kar...you gotta believe me. Just this one last time. I swear to fucking god."

Karkat looked away, sighing. "Fuck...I can't fucking resist when you get all fucking mooshy. I'll believe you this one last time. If we do this and it's not fucking him, I swear I'm going to kill you."

Gamzee smiled a bit. "That means we gotta motherfuckin break up, you know."

Karkat frowned, looking up. "We weren't even really fucking together, okay? Friends with benefits is hardly the equivalent of dating."

Gamzee scratched the back of his neck, his smile widening a bit. "Well...you know. We gotta not be together anymore."

Karkat tapped the side of his curry container. "Does that mean...no more fucking?" he asked grimly, letting out a sigh.

Gamzee nodded, laughing as Karkat through a handful of rice at him and began to curse profusely. "I'm motherfuckin sorry brother! Can't be all in a relationship now that I know the love of my fucking life is still alive!"

Karkat laughed lightly. "I should still be pretty fucking pissed at you for forgetting to pick me up AND leaving me in the rain, no matter the fucking circumstances."

"Sorry," Gamzee apologized. "I just...man, you know what's even worse?"

"What?"

"Rose; You know Kanaya's girlfriend-" Gamzee noticed Karkat's look of confusion. "The therapist-" Karkat nodded in understanding. "Yeah," Gamzee continued. "So motherfuckin Tav's got this fucking hoity toity motherfucker boyfriend and Rose is his fucking sister! Kar, It's miserable! He's been so fucking close all this time. All this motherfuckin time."

"Gamzee, please don't get your hopes up. You don't know for sure. I don't want you to fucking..." Karkat looked down, searching for the right words. "Just don't fucking do anything unless you run it by me first, okay? I know how fucking impulsive and shit you get."

Gamzee rolled his eyes. "Okay I'm the motherfuckin least impulsive person on the planet."

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><p>"Hello! Welcome to The Coffee Counter!" John chirped, smiling widely.<p>

Tavros turned to greet the newcomer as well, but upon spotting who it was, he panicked and ducked behind the counter, covering his face for good measure.

"Tavros?" John asked, looking down at the boy curiously.

Tavros punched John in the leg, causing the latter to buckle and pout. Tavros put a finger to his lips, eyes wide with fright. "That's the guy," he whispered, and John immediately knew what he meant.

Gamzee looked down at the small slip of paper in his hands, and then around, trying to find the familiar brunette mohawk. "I'm lookin for a motherfucker named Tavros. Bout 5'7'', big auburn eyes and a cute lil' button nose."

John smiled appreciatively. "He's not working today!" he nodded. "Sorry ya missed him. Can I get you anything to drink?"

Tavros punched John in the leg again, making the boy double over and wince. "Geez, I'm sorry!" he yelled without thinking. Tavros put his head in his hands, shaking his head in frustration.

Gamzee watched John for a moment before realization hit him. "Oh. Well, next time you see him tell him Gamzee Makara is looking for him." He got out a notebook and a pen and jotted down some information. "This is my address, apartment number and my boy...my uh, my motherfuckin best friend's phone number, since my cell got all dropped in the sewer and whatever."

John nodded. "All right, I'll keep that in mind," he laughed. "So uhm...that drink?" he asked.

Gamzee thought for a moment and his eyes widened. He was pretty fucking impressed with how quickly he came up with this plan, and all on his own.

John smiled at him with a confused expression, but mimicked the excited bouncing motion Gamzee seemed to be doing. "I like you!" he laughed, exhilarated by the odd man's energy.

"I'd like a medium peppermint ice blended with crushed java chips, extra chocolate syrup no whipped cream and put a cuff on it because-"

"The cup always makes my fingers freeze up," Tavros whispered to himself, eyes widening substantially and then narrowing. He stood up abruptly, slamming his hands on the counter. "Look, sir! I, uh, I at first thought that maybe you were just, uh, confused cus you hit your head, but it's obvious now you're a, uh, you're a stalker!"

Gamzee held his hands up in defense. "Listen, Tav, I don't motherfuckin know why you're doing this to me. I don't know if I fuckin did something wrong, or if you just got tired of me, but...I fuckin love you okay. I always have, I always will. You can go on pretending you all don't know me and whatever, but...at least give me some motherfuckin closure, all right?"

Tavros looked down, tensed and confused. "I, uh..." He turned bright red as he noticed just about everyone in the coffee shop was staring now. "I uh..." He looked to John who was watching whilst making Gamzee's coffee.

"I uh don't know how you know my coffee order by heart, but I think you should really just leave me alone, okay? I don't know who you are, so uh, please leave..." Tavros looked down, trembling a bit.

Gamzee looked down. "I'm not a stalker, I promise." He pushed the slip of paper closer to Tavros. "Just look at me real quick please."

Tavros hesitantly raised his eyes, still keeping his head low. Gamzee smiled at him, letting out a soft sigh. "Just like I motherfuckin remember," he whispered, rubbing his neck.

"Gamzee Makara!" John yelled, holding his coffee up and startling both of the other two that were present.

Gamzee looked at Tavros who was glaring at John. Tavros was almost constantly on edge. He was a very jumpy person, and he could distinctly remember getting that same exact look from Tavros every time he accidentally scared the boy.

"Hehehe, sorry," John laughed, embarrassed at his own loudness. "Well, geez, this actually looks really good! It wasn't on the menu, so I hope it came out all right. I kinda had to experiment a bit!"

Gamzee searched his pockets, pulling out a plain purple wallet. He placed a few dollars on the table and pushed it towards John. "He can have it," he said, pointing to Tavros. "I hope to talk to you motherfuckin soon, okay?" he asked quietly.

Tavros didn't look up or even reply. Instead he averted his eyes and took the paper, carefully placing it in his pocket.

Gamzee watched the boy longingly, afraid that if he left now he'd never get a chance to explain himself, but he had to treat the situation as delicately as possible, so he opted to wait for Tavros to come to him first. He drank in the sight of Tavros once more before finally turning and leaving.

"Well I like him," John said, smiling widely. "He's not nearly as creepy as you made him out to be you meanie!"

Tavros shook his head a bit, rubbing his arm subconsciously. "I, uh, guess not..."

John nodded. "I know not! He's actually really really attractive. Too bad you're engaged to that stupid guy Dave!" he laughed and rolled his eyes, adjusting his glasses. "He is such a loser!"

"It's not nice to call your best friend a loser. Plus, he's uh...really really accomplished a stuff. And so is everyone in his family, so he's hardly a uh...a loser."

"Bleh, he thinks he's really cool," John said, waving his hand dismissively. "He's really not though! He just thinks he is."

Tavros laughed slightly. "Gosh John you're maybe even a uh, bigger dork than me, you know?"

"Probably," John agreed, sticking his tongue out playfully.

Tavros was quiet for a moment before he stuck his hand in his pocket. "I think I'll contact him...maybe. He seemed really distraught. But it wasn't really like...in a crazy way."

John looked at Tavros, his mood becoming a few shades more somber. "You know Dave won't let you."

"Well gosh, I have a will of my own! Dave doesn't control my whole life," Tavros said, his frown appearing more like a pout.

John sighed. "Yes he does, Tavros."

"Okay maybe what I do and how I look and act, but whether Dave likes it or not I'm going to see this guy," Tavros murmured. "I mean...maybe he knew me from before the accident?"

"Dave said he searched for friends or family and that you had none, though," John said. "I know Dave can be sort of a jerk sometimes, but I don't think he'd be that cruel."

"It's probably just a huge misunderstanding," Tavros agreed.


	4. Angels

**So Chapter four. :) I hope you enjoy it! I don't really know what to say other than...I...I don't know? This chapter...I just don't know how I feel about it! But I hope you lovelies enjoy it anyway. :)**

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><p>"You're a fucking idiot!" Karkat yelled. "What did I fucking say? What did I fucking tell you!"<p>

Gamzee held his hands up in defense. "Hey now best friend, it wasn't a motherfuckin impulse, all right? I put a lot of motherfuckin thought into that plan."

"Oh yeah? How much? How fucking much thought did you put into it?" Karkat asked frustratedly, putting his hands on his hips. Before Gamzee could answer, however, Karkat interrupted. "Wait. I already know. The ten minutes it takes to drive from here to the Coffee Counter. Am I right? I'm fucking right, aren't I!" he yelled, throwing his arms up.

Gamzee smiled bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck slowly. "Man ten minutes is a motherfuckin long time, all right?"

Karkat threw his head into his hands, shaking it vigorously. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck you are so goddamn fucking stupid. Worst best friend in the fucking world."

Gamzee plopped onto their tattered purple couch, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "Yeah, maybe. But I think maybe I'm motherfuckin goin about this the wrong way, y'know?"

"You fucking think," Karkat seethed, sitting beside him. "You've probably scared the goddamn Christ out of him, fuckass."

"Well I mean, maybe his motherfuckin memory's all fucked up. Maybe he fucking repressed everything from before the motherfuckin accident or some motherfuckin psychoanalysis shit like that," Gamzee suggested hopefully. "Maybe he's not ignoring me. Maybe he's just fuckin confused and shit."

"It would make sense. It was...all just a whole fucking traumatizing mess, I'd imagine." Karkat murmured, picking up the remote.

As Karkat turned on the television and tried to pick something to watch, Gamzee mulled a thought over in his head. "You think if I act all motherfuckin innocent, like I mistook him for some other motherfucker I could get a little closer to him?"

Karkat shrugged. "It could help. Maybe you can drop hints, stuff you two shared in common. It might stimulate his fucking ass-up memory."

After a short silence,Gamzee leaned his head on his friend's shoulder, letting out an exhausted sigh. The last few days had been rather eventful and he'd been unable to get hardly an ounce of sleep. Karkat's warmth was familiar and comfortable, and he was infinitely grateful for everything his friend had done.

"You know," Gamzee said, drawing Karkat's attention. "I'm really motherfuckin grateful to have a best friend like you."

Karkat shrugged, rolling his eyes. "Yeah whatever."

Gamzee settled into the couch a bit more. "No, I motherfuckin mean it. You're the only person that stayed with me. You gave up everything to make sure I stayed motherfuckin sane and didn't kill myself or some shit like that."

For a moment an almost condescending smile appeared on Karkat's face, but it was a smile nonetheless.

"You're the only person that listened to my motherfuckin 4AM rants and slept with me at night so I could get even an ounce of motherfuckin sleep. Kar, you're my best motherfuckin friend and I love you brother. Don't you forget it," Gamzee said, poking Karkat's side gently.

Karkat smiled a bit more blatantly, making a sound that was somewhere in between laughter and discontent. "Yeah well someone's gotta put up with your psychotic shit."

* * *

><p>Tavros stared at his cellphone, the slip of paper given to him in his free hand. He'd been like that for well over ten minutes. The 80 inch flat screen tv placed neatly in the middle of the huge living room playing reruns of old Nickelodean cartoons on mute.<p>

Suddenly, Tavros heard keys in the door and he stuffed the slip of paper back in his pocket, throwing his phone onto the other side of the couch before striking his most unnatural "natural" looking pose.

Dave walked in, bags of groceries hanging from his wrist. He stared at Tavros' odd positioning for a moment before dismissing it and closing the door, walking inside.

"Welcome home," Tavros said, jumping up excitedly. He ran to Dave, kissing his cheek and embracing him in a tight hug.

Dave put his arm around Tavros, face keeping its same stoic expression. "You're watching cartoons again?"

"Well geez, you block all the, uh, good channels! I'm not a little kid you know," Tavros said, pouting.

"You got nightmares from watching Sesame Street," Dave said, rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses as he led Tavros to the kitchen.

"Okay, well I don't know about you, but quite frankly a giant green monster that lives in the garbage and is really really grouchy and mean is not a good thing to be in a kid's show," Tavros huffed, sitting at the island counter and crossing his arms.

Dave smiled slightly. "And that's why I keep you from watching anything that will have you up screaming in the middle of the night. The last thing I need is you keeping me up all night when you know I have work in the morning."

Tavros frowned, leaning on his hand and covering his mouth as he looked away. Dave noticed the boy's sullen expression and moved from where he was beginning on dinner to give him a gently kiss on the forehead. "You know I love you."

"Uh, yeah yeah, whatever," Tavros said, smiling despite himself.

"Now go finish Spongebob or whatever the shit you're watching. Dinner will be ready in an hour," Dave said, returning to his natural stiffness.

Tavros threw his arms up, sighing loudly before returning back to the living room. He was stuck in a gigantic house all day by himself (with the exception of John who frequently visited) and then as soon as Dave came home he'd kick Tavros out so he could make dinner.

Maybe he would contact that Gamzee guy. If he just explained to him that he had hit his head and was a little confused, maybe they could even become friends. But Dave would never allow it. Tavros leaned back on the couch, sighing. Maybe it was with good reason, too, considering how crazily that man had been acting.

Briefly, Tavros entertained the idea that this guy knew him before he lost his memories, in which case Dave would have lied about him not having any friends or family. But no one, not even Dave whom was a bit controlling, would do something that cruel; Would he?

Tavros crossed his hands over his stomach, laying across the couch and closing his eyes.

* * *

><p>Dinner had gone by without incident, and now Tavros was snug under a blanket with Dave as they watched tv in their room. It was the carefree moments like that that Tavros loved the most. Possibly because they were short and few, they were seen as something to be treasured and Tavros wouldn't have it any other way, to be honest.<p>

"Uh, Davvee?" Tavros asked innocently, looking up at him with large eyes.

Dave looked down, removing his sunglasses and placing them on the bedside table. "Please don't ask it," he murmured, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and middle finger.

"Please," Tavros begged, clapping his hands together. "That's uh, my favorite story! Please please pleasssee?"

Dave smiled slightly, but immediately caught himself. "Fine." He took a short pause to let out a sigh and collect his thoughts. "It was Spring; I was nineteen and working as an intern at my bro's hospital."

Tavros snuggled closer, grinning from ear to ear as he listened.

"We heard that a bunch of douchebags were hiking this "difficult" trail and decide to try it out ourselves; Ironically of course," Dave leaned his head on top of Tavros', searching for his hand under the heap of blankets.

Tavros laughed softly as he grabbed Dave's hand, holding it over his clothed chest. "And then..."

"And then nature started to fuckin call and whatever, so I wandered off to take a leak," Dave said.

Tavros wrinkled his nose. "Gosh! You could've put it more nicely than that," he said, a small giggle betraying his statement.

Dave's chest rose with the imitation of a laughter that never made itself audible. "I dunno really, what drew me to the clearing, but it was sort of weird how it was placed in the middle of nowhere."

"And in the clearing?" Tavros urged.

"Well goddamn, if you know the whole story, why don't you tell it?" Dave asked, sighing in exasperation and rolling his eyes.

Tavros laughed in return, nuzzling Dave to console his hot nerves. "Well geez! You just tell it better," he said, nudging his fiance. "So go on!"

"In the clearing-" Dave continued. "Was a weird field of tall grass and clovers. I'd never seen anything like it, really. My curiosity peaked so I went to go check it out. I hadn't really seen a lot of gruesome detail in my days of internship, so I was completely unprepared."

Tavros smiled a smile that was somewhere in between sad and knowing. "Mhm," he said.

Dave watched him. "If you're gonna start getting all weird..."

"I'm not!" Tavros huffed, shaking Dave's arm. "Go on."

"I walked through the tall grass, because I'd seen something I couldn't quite describe, a mutilated deer or something, I thought, but the closer I got the more I began to realize..."

Tavros laid his head on Dave's chest, closing his eyes. "Mhm," he said.

"But, in my admitted moments of hysterics, I thought to myself 'Is this a fallen angel'?" Dave murmured quietly, trying to hide how his cheeks tinted a slight red at the thought of thinking something so uncool, but it still drove Tavros wild, if not externally, internally.

"And then!" Tavros quipped excitedly, moving so he was practically in Dave's lap.

"And then I walked over. You looked...peaceful. Your face at least. I thought you were dead, to be honest. You were covered in blood and dirt and sweat, and yet you were still as beautiful as I remembered-" Dave stopped himself, looking at Tavros who returned a confused look.

"That's not...uh...how the story goes," Tavros murmured. "What do you mean remembe-"

"I meant you're as beautiful now as I remembered back then, even more beautiful. It was a long day at the hospital," Dave murmured hastily, his heart racing as he hoped Tavros would believe him.

Tavros thought for a moment before he smiled and nodded for Dave to continue. Dave released a sigh of relief, kissing Tavros' temple lightly.

"I knelt down beside you and that's when I noticed your chest was moving...barely, but moving. Your face was really really pale." Dave scratched the side of his face. "That's when I noticed exactly how much blood you'd lost. I went to pick you up so I could rush you to the car, but I got a little worried because I could feel that your legs were crushed under your pants."

Tavros shuddered. He hadn't remembered his legs being crushed, as he'd woken up in the hospital with them amputated, but the thought made him shiver.

"Suddenly your eyes opened. God...that scared the fuck out of me, I thought you were a zombie or something," Dave said, shaking his head with a breath of a laugh. "And you whispered 'Are you an angel?'. I thought of the irony for only a moment before realizing you were meant to be mine."

Tavros smiled, humming softly. He was beginning to slowly fall asleep now.

"I called my Bro, because I knew he'd know what to do better than I would, and we rushed you to the hospital. You got a blood transfusion and your wounds were stitched up and bandaged-" Dave stopped. "This story is extremely unromantic. Are you sure you want me to finish it?"

Tavros smiled slightly, nodding.

Dave sighed, rolling his eyes as he put an arm around Tavros. "And you looked even more beautiful than when I first saw you lying in that field."

Tavros smiled more.

"And although it was extremely unprofessional, I asked you out on a date once you were awake and well," Dave finished. "There."

"You forgot that part about me losing my memory," Tavros pouted, his eyes still closed and no conviction behind his tired statement.

"Just go to sleep," Dave said, adjusting Tavros so he was lying down. He slipped down beside him and turned the tv off mute, taking his interest in that.

Tavros' fingers snaked under his shirt and he winced as he accidentally knocked one of his rings, but his hand eventually found and closed around a small dog tag that read "Tavros :o)".


	5. Explanation

**I love all this awesome support I've been getting! you lovely muffins are so awesome and nice and just! gaahhh! So awesome! u**

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><p>Karkat growled in frustration as he watched his best friend pace the apartment, trying to tidy up. While Karkat was fairly organized, it was hard to constantly follow around the walking disaster that was Gamzee and pick all his shit up after him, so it was just the slightest bit amusing to watch him frantically clean up his own mess, yet immensely annoying at the same time. "He won't be here for another half hour," he murmured.<p>

"You're sure he motherfuckin' called? You're not lying?" Gamzee asked as he washed dishes haphazardly. Despite Hurricane Gamzee's utter destruction, the apartment wasn't all that bad when clothes and empty soda and alcohol bottles weren't thrown about.

"Fuck! Yes," Karkat growled, rolling his eyes as he pulled his knees to his chest, playing with his bare toes to distract himself from his friend's idiocy.

"He said today? 12:30?" Gamzee asked hurriedly, shoving his clothes into the hall closet.

"Yes, dumb fuck! I'm not stupid I know how to fucking take down information. Fuck," Karkat seethed, looking away. "Anyway you look like shit. At least go make yourself fucking presentable."

Gamzee nearly pressed his face against the mirror as he stared at himself, frowning. "Fuck...my hair's all motherfuckin' unruly and shit..."

Karkat smirked. "It's always like that."

Both suddenly paused when there was a knock at the door. They stayed there, silent like confused domestic animals.

* * *

><p>Tavros looked at John, frowning. A good minute had gone by and he, admittedly was a bit nervous and that's why his best friend was with him.<p>

"Don't worry!" John said, chuckling. "He seems really nice. And he said he has a roommate, right? And I'm here! So you don't need to worry about being murdered or anything!"

Tavros frowned. "Uh...thanks, I guess..." He fidgeted with his keys, seeming antsy. "Maybe we should leave they're obviously not ho-"

Both boys jumped as the door was wrenched open and a pissed off looking Karkat was standing there, first eying John and then noticing Tavros who was taller, and so less in Karkat's short line of vision.

But as soon as the rancorous boy took in the crippling familiarity of the nervous brown-haired boy, he quickly slammed the door and swayed a bit. Thoughts of the crime scene he and Gamzee had been shown flashed in his mind and the thought of the pooling blood, dragging every which way from the absolutely mutilated cars-

Gamzee walked in from the hall, toothbrush in mouth, just in time to see the tips of Karkat's toes leave the ground as he fell backwards. The tall male was just able to stride and catch Karkat with one arm so he didn't hit his head, but he was sure the other would be victim to some pretty nasty bruises later on.

"Shit, Kar!" Gamzee hissed, dragging his dazed friend to the couch to sit him up. "Hold on please!" he yelled at the door.

Karkat finally snapped out of his reverie, a bit flushed from the gruesome memories he would have liked to have forgotten. "Okay-" he said calmly. A bit too calmly for Gamzee's comfort. "Either you're not crazy and we're in the Twilight Zone, or your craziness has rubbed off on me."

"Are you motherfuckin all right!" Gamzee yelled, more with concern than anger. "Holy shit Kar, you can't motherfuckin do that!"

"Well holy fuck, next time I pass out I'll fucking warn you twenty minutes before hand! Fuck you," Karkat seethed back, looking away with a sneer on his face.

"All I motherfuckin ask is that you go somewhere that isn't the motherfuckin hardwood floor. You could get a motherfuckin concussion!" Gamzee yelled back.

Karkat narrowed his eyes and pushed Gamzee, causing him to fall backwards and knock some things off their coffee table. "Well holy fuck you didn't prepare me for that! That is fucking the living, breathing, real Tavros out there! Oh fuck..."

Gamzee watched quietly as Karkat crouched down and clutched his stomach, groaning as it was disrupted. "I think I'm going to throw up..."

"I just cleaned the motherfuckin floors, so don't do it there," Gamzee murmured, comfortingly petting Karkat's thick black hair, only to have his hand swatted away.

"FUCK YOU!" Karkat hissed, kicking Gamzee in the shin.

Gamzee, however, was used to the half-dished out abuse, and merely rolled over onto his side and groaned loudly, running his fingers through his fluffy hair.

Both males had momentarily forgotten about the waiting company and continued to yell at each other.

* * *

><p>John and Tavros stared at each other, both looking unsure as the incoherent yelling and banging proceeded.<p>

"We should, uhh, go..." Tavros murmured, crossing his arms awkwardly before letting them rest at his side. "This is weird."

"Nonesense!" John encouraged. "Do you really wanna go back to your big old lame house? It's so cold and empty there! I think we'll have a lot more fun here, don't you think?"

"...I guess," Tavros grumbled.

"Well I know!" John said, patting Tavros on the back.

Tavros smiled weakly, nodding. "You're, uh, probably right."

"I _am _right!" John said, putting his hands on his hips victoriously before banging on the door once more.

Tavros flushed a bit, self consciously playing with his hair as the door swung open once more and a slightly disheveled looking Gamzee beamed down at them both.

"Hey! Glad you decided to motherfuckin show," Gamzee said, ushering them in. "You brought a motherfuckin friend too? Out of sight."

Karkat's head fwipped over from where he was sitting on the couch and he glared at Gamzee for using such an idiotic phrase.

Gamzee shot Karkat a distressed look and a desperate shrug from behind their guests, and then held up his hand to show how much he was trembling. He finally grinned and pushed Karkat over on the couch, receiving a growl in return.

"Sit, sit," the nervous man beckoned, fumbling with the television remote. "Uh...I was thinking we could watch some movies, and maybe...play some motherfuckin board games? Uh...my friend Kanaya made me and Kar lunch for today...it just needs to be warmed up a bit if you're motherfuckin hungry 'r somethin?"

Karkat scoffed slightly, earning everyone's attention. He stared at them before rolling his eyes and looking away.

Gamzee rubbed the back of his head. "...Excuse him. He's a...well he's a jackass."

The smaller male growled and flipped off his friend, tucking his legs under him in a childish manner and facing away from them all, still inwardly freaked out about seeing his old friend again.

"Do you motherfuckin want anything to drink?" Gamzee asked, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

Tavros shook his head slowly, watching Gamzee with a timid caution. "Uh...no thank you..."

John shook his head vigorously, smiling a bit too wide than was natural. His, actually, charming buck teeth showing proudly.

"Uh...actually," Tavros said, clearing his throat.

"Yeah? What do you need? Too motherfuckin cold? I can get a blanket. Looks like rain soon...it's pretty motherfuckin dark, like it's almost night time, huh?" Gamzee rambled, something that was not typical of his character. He fidgeted before crouching down, realizing there was no chair for him to sit on.

He opted to moving to the arm chair beside the couch, shifting his weight to the right so he could see the others better.

"Uh...no, I'm fine," Tavros murmured, scratching the back of his head. "I was just uh...I mean...maybe you could explain this all to me?"

Karkat suddenly looked over, more interested in the conversation now.

"Oh...yeah. Sure," Gamzee murmured, looked around frantically as he tried to recollect his thoughts. "I uh...oh fuck..."

"Sorry Gamzee's so fucking...choked up. I don't know," Karkat said, forcing attention on himself. "We had this friend back in school. We all fucking grew up together since elementary school. His name was Tavros too, not to mention he looked fucking just like you."

"Oh...yeah," Tavros said, perking up a bit. "So it was just a misunderstanding? Did your friend move?"

Karkat pulled his feet onto the couch, hunching over his knees as he began to bite his nails in thought. "Gamzee and Tav were fucking inseparable. Gamzee was like the head honcho at our school...ever since elementary school. Everyone wanted to be his friend. He was athletic, funny, sexy as hell-" he continued, disregarding Tavros. "Tav was kind of a quiet nervous nerdy kid, but Gamzee was like...obsessed with him. Tav didn't fucking know though."

"How cute!" John laughed, clapping his hands happily.

Karkat nodded, looking down at his nails. "They started "going steady" when Gam was fourteen and Tav was twelve. Fucking weird- I know. Gamzee you fucking pedophile."

Gamzee frowned at Karkat.

"But man the more they hung out and got all close and personal and whatnot, the more you could tell they were fucking soul mates. It seemed a little fucking unfair- to find their soulmates at such a fucking young age, but the fucking day after Gamzee's nineteenth birthday, Tav just fucking..." Karkat tried to find the strength to finish.

"Did he, uh, leave Gamzee?" Tavros asked.

"He was motherfuckin killed," Gamzee whispered, though loud enough that the other two boys could hear.

Tavros leaned into John a bit. "Oh god...he killed him...he's gonna kill us now," he whispered almost inaudibly, earning a playful smirk and a snort from his friend.

"Car accident," Gamzee elaborated.

"That's so sad!" John said, frowning. "I'm sorry for your loss!"

"It's been almost eight years," Karkat said, leaning back a bit. "But Gamzee is still devastated. So he fucking confused you for our old Tavros. Sorry for any dumbassery he may have caused," he said.

"Oh...that's all right. That's, uh, really sad though...I'm so sorry," Tavros said, looking at Gamzee with a weak smile, wrinkling his nose slightly.

Gamzee gave a breathy laugh, turning his head away to avoid melting from Tavros' adorable expressions. "Don't motherfuckin worry about it. I'm just fuckin sorry about freakin you out and shit."

"I was just worried I may have messed something up in your brain when I uh...made you crash your motorcycle," Tavros murmured.

"You crashed your motorcycle!" Karkat growled, glaring daggers at his roommate. "And you didn't fucking go to the hospital!"

"I went..." Gamzee murmured, scratching the back of his neck.

"I took him!" Tavros nodded in affirmation. "But, uh, my...fiancee sort of chased him away...I'm sorry about that, by the way."

"Gamzee you could have died," Karkat snarled.

"I had my helmet on...and you hate my motherfuckin motorcycle anyway!"

"I fucking hate that thing..." Karkat grumbled, sitting back against the couch.

John giggled at him. "I have a vespa! They're way cooler! Do you hate those too?"

Karkat looked at John, sneering. "A vespa? That is the gayest source of transportation in the fucking world."

John pouted playfully, putting his hands on his hips. "Hey! I love them! It's baby blue and I have a ton of nifty stickers on it too."

Karkat looked at Gamzee, the corner of his mouth raised in disbelief at the idiocy of their guest, but Gamzee merely let out an airy laugh. Karkat rolled his eyes and looked away again, frowning deeply.

"Uh..." Gamzee looked down at the remote. "Let's get the motherfuckin movie rolling."


	6. Fiduspawn

By the time 6 PM rolled around, Gamzee and Karkat's apartment was bustling with people. Eridan and Feferi had come upon hearing there were guests about. And of course; one of them invited Sollux whom invited Aradia. Feferi invited John's sister Jade, and Jade invited Rose and Kanaya. Later, Aradia invited Equius.

Gamzee was by far a social butterfly, but was not much in the mood for being social now. He just wanted to be with Tavros, get to know him again and maybe try and pull a subtle move or two. Just to plant the idea.

But now he was simply standing on the balcony, enjoying a cigarette. His hands trembled slightly at the thought of Tavros being so closer- alive and safe. He was happy, whether Tavros was his again or not.

Suddenly, he heard the door behind him slide open and then closed. He turned to investigate and immediately noticed Tavros. The boy was looking away, watching the city beyond the apartment. They really did have a good view.

"Hey brother. Why aren't you enjoying the party?" Gamzee asked, standing from the tanning chair. (He honestly had no idea why they'd kept it. It had been there when they moved in.)

Tavros shrugged subtly, touching the guard rail delicately with his slender fingers. "I, uh, just felt like getting out for a moment. I've been to enough of Dave's stupid, uh, you know, doctor parties and stuff."

"This is not a motherfuckin doctor party. It's a kick-back," Gamzee chuckled breathily, internally cursing the name of Dave Strider. He rubbed the back of his neck as he looked up at Tavros. The other was still looking in the distance, his mouth shifting this way and that as he thought, apprehension heavy in his expression.

"I uh, also really wanted to, uhm, you know, uh...talk to you?" Tavros said, his statement coming out closer to a question.

Gamzee smiled, a sad sense of nostalgia slapping him in the face. He wanted to embrace Tavros and cover him with kisses. Hold him close by the fireplace like they'd done as teenagers. But that was so long ago already- he could wait a little while longer. The pining was not fleeting, however. "Sure. Have a motherfuckin seat," he said, gesturing with his cigarette to the fold out chair across from himself.

Tavros took a delicate seat, absently brushing nothing off of the surface. He pulled his hand back and smiled gently. "So, uh...hello?"

Gamzee smiled at Tavros for a lengthy time, not realizing he must have seemed rather creepy for it. After a good, awkward silence, he rubbed the back of his head and nodded. "Yeah. Hey."

Another long silence followed, before Tavros finally spoke up.

"So. What was your Tavros like?"

Gamzee perked up a bit. If there was one thing that made him inexplicably happy, it was describing his lover, even if he was describing his lover to the very same person. He let out a small, blissful sigh as he thought back on all the good memories.

"God- How do I even motherfuckin begin? Tav was seriously that greatest thing that ever happened to me. He would smile and it would just light up a room. He could make any motherfucker get the warm fuzzies from even the briefest conversation. He entered a room, and angels sang-" Gamzee leaned down, putting his head in his hands and careful to keep the tip of his cigarette from catching on his hair.

Tavros smiled, watching Gamzee expectantly as a small, yet strangely comfortable, silence swallowed the conversation. He was about to comment when Gamzee's head suddenly snapped up and he continued.

"He had this motherfuckin...just the fluffiest hair. I'd all motherfuckin bury my face in it and shit and just smell his shampoo. It smelled like peppermint- he always smelled like peppermint. He loved to play boardgames too- Monopoly gave him a headache, and he hated competitive games like Sorry!. There was this strange game from some other country or some motherfuckin shit like that. He wanted it so badly- but he came from a pretty fucking poor family. That was the first thing I ever bought him- He was eleven and I was thirteen. This was before we became a thing. We weren't even friends but we sat next to each other in math and he was always talking about it with his friend Terezi."

"How generous of you," Tavros said, chuckling ever so lightly in a certain way he did that made Gamzee go crazy.

Gamzee shrugged, shaking his head slightly. "It's not about that. I wasn't trying to like- take motherfuckin advantage of him or anything. Or like buy him off. I just thought it would be nice. We'd known each other since we were really little kids. My dad is the CEO of the Subjugglator's company so we were always able to live far above our means. It wasn't really anything to me- he just wanted it so bad- his dad was just a cubicle worker and a single parent so he didn't make much money. I guess I sorta just...pittied him? I don't motherfuckin know."

Tavros frowned. "How sad." The only life he'd known for the last seven years had been one of luxury. He was spoiled to death by his fiance, even if he was a little less than favorable at times. Being poor- it wasn't something he'd really thought of before. But hearing about Gamzee's deceased lover was hitting a little too close to home for his comfort.

"But then, when he got the gift- you see I made it anonymous because I was a little embarrassed- I got his locker number from Terezi and put it in there. She was with him. I sort of watched from my locker, pretending I actually gave a shit about school bullshit- He opened it and read the title of the box a good few times. He looked at Terezi but she shook her head. I thought she was gonna rat me out but she shrugged and made a gesture like her lips were sealed- I never thanked her for that..." Gamzee looked down, a visible tremble shooting through his limbs as he took a shaky drag from his cigarette, his knee bobbing up and down nervously.

Tavros nodded, leaning in a bit, completely intrigued. He rested his elbows on his knees, hands cradling his face and eyes wide with anticipation.

"The game was called fiduspawn or something. It was Friday- winter break let out that weekend, so I guess it was sort of a Christmas gift. The timing was just good. He finally realized he wasn't dreaming I guess, because his face broke out in this huge motherfuckin smile and he just...god. He started crying. Laughing at the same time. He was so motherfucking happy I couldn't stand it. That's when he had my heart for good," Gamzee said nostalgically.

Tavros perked up, folding his hands in his lap a bit anxiously. "My favorite game is fiduspawn! John plays it with me all the time when he comes over-" he paused, blushing. "Uh...please don't make fun of me for liking a kid's game-"

"Never," Gamzee said a little too quickly. It took everything he had to bite his tongue and keep from continuing, but he gave a gracious smile, hoping his eyes spoke what he needed them to say; and praying that Tavros' soul would understand.

Tavros smiled lightly back, fidgeting a bit. "My friend John seems to like your friend Karkat a lot," he murmured.

"Yeah?" Gamzee chuckled, tossing his cigarette to the ground and stomping it out. "Cool. Kar needs someone in his life."

"I didn't say Karkat liked him back," Tavros laughed slightly, looking away embarrassedly. "I wish he'd go a little easier on John- he really does mean well. Thankfully John is kind of...too dense to understand when people are making fun of him."

Gamzee laughed a haughty laugh from his stomach, something he hadn't done in a long, long time. "That's just Kar's way of expressing himself. I don't see him seriously not liking your friend-" he looked in through the glass window, spotting the two. Karkat had hardly moved from his curled up position on the couch, and it appeared that John was trying to wheedle him into singing Karaoke with him.

Though Karkat had a very heavy, emotional voice, his singing was actually quite nice. Getting him to actually sing was a challenge, however.

Tavros followed Gamzee's line of vision, eying Karkat and John carefully. He was sort of lost in thought; he didn't even hear Gamzee call him. "Uh...what did you say?" he asked, looking back to the man.

"I said what was your childhood like?" Gamzee asked.

Tavros looked down awkwardly, rubbing his arms as the chilly night air began to assault him. "Well...I don't really like telling this to people when we first meet- because it's a little awkward, but-"

"TAVROS!" John nearly screamed, almost falling onto the balcony as he burst through the sliding glass door. "Come in and sing Karaoke with me! Karkat is being crabby."

Tavros blinked, looking between John and Gamzee. "I, uh-"

"That's all right. Go right ahead brother. I'm gonna stay out here and chill a bit longer," Gamzee said, waving him away.

Tavros smiled and nodded, waving as John pulled him back into the apartment.

Gamzee checked his watch. It was Midnight. The kick-back would probably last well into the morning, so he let out a small sigh. He'd really just wanted it to be the four of them. He barely got to know Tavros at all.

Suddenly there was a soft ringing. It was Chopin's Prelude #4. He recognized it from his days playing piano to impress his father's associates. He scowled a bit, picking the phone up. He checked the caller ID, his scowl lengthening. "Sorry Dave. Not tonight," he murmured, only a hint of dark undertones in his voice. He pressed ignore, frowning at the picture of Tavros and Dave hugging that was set as the wallpaper.

Obviously, it was Tavros' phone. His mood lightened once more, to something much more neutral. He felt bad about not alerting Tavros of the call, and even taking the liberty of ignoring it. But-

"Gamzee?"

Gamzee looked up, his thoughts interrupted. He had no idea what he was doing. His insides were warring and he wanted nothing more than to smoke a J. But he'd promised Karkat to stop the nasty habit. He placed the phone to his side, watching his sister carefully. "Yeah Fef?"

She stood there for a moment, gauging Gamzee's mood. He was so uncertain since Tavros' passing, that Feferi would sometimes find it hard to talk to him. Karkat was the only one that could ever be certain about Gamzee. He could even calm him down after a particularly bad breakdown. Feferi couldn't help but feel jealous, even thought it wasn't typically in her nature.

"Aren't you going to come in and join the party?" Feferi asked, sitting beside him.

"Maybe," Gamzee murmured.

Feferi was quiet for a few moments before she spoke again. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Gamzee looked at her, his face suddenly tired and much less lackluster than it had been only ten minutes before. "What?"

"About...this guy. This Tavros?" Feferi asked. "He does look an awful lot like Tavros. But why didn't you tell me?"

Gamzee gave the barest of shrugs, rubbing his eyes and letting out a long sigh. "I just don't want to tell motherfuckin everyone motherfuckin everything that happens right away, okay? I've barely taken any of this in myself."

Feferi put her hand on Gamzee's shoulder, pulling him into a hug. "Mom and daddy really want to talk to you about it," she whispered.

"You told them?"

"I had to! You never tell us anything anymore. Karkat is the one that relays anything that happens to you to us and we're all really worried about you," Feferi cried, hugging him more tightly as her tone increased.

Gamzee gave her a tired smile, hugging back. "Sorry. It's been a motherfuckin lot to take in, okay?" he murmured against her shoulder, closing his eyes. "I just don't want to talk to them about it."

"I know you don't believe me, but they care a lot about you," Feferi whispered.

Gamzee nodded. "Thanks Fef, but...I just want to be left alone. Go enjoy the party with Eridan, okay?"

Feferi sighed and nodded, reluctantly leaving him be.


	7. You Could Be Happy

**Sorry guys, this chapter is really short. I just don't know how long it's going to be before I can update Birds of a Feather or this one again- some crazy things just happened irl. **

**We just found out today that my older sister is 2 months pregnant (she's only 18) and she is by no means capable of caring for a child as of the moment so...it's been really stressful. OTL**

**Also sorry if this chapter isn't the best- again I've been distracted by this whole ordeal. **

**Well...enjoy.**

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><p>Gamzee sat awkwardly in the middle of the room, seated in a plush chair that didn't quite match the rest of the decorum of the apartment. In his lap rested his guitar and the encouraging chants of his friends was not an unusual ambiance, but the presence of a certain brown-haired boy was incredibly intimidating.<p>

"Go on and sing! It's so exciting!" Feferi cheered, louder than the rest because she had always been her brother's biggest fan- perhaps even more than Tavros had been in the days before the accident.

"Ah man, c'mon. I don't even know what to motherfuckin sing and shit," Gamee laughed breathlessly, plucking at the strings of his guitar. He wasn't past admitting he'd had a bit too much to drink. He looked up, spying Tavros through a loose curl of hair. The boy was swaying, obviously a bit inebriated as well, and smiling his natural, affable smile expectantly.

He struck a chord and smiled a bit, tuning his guitar before he began to play.

"You could be happy and I won't know  
>But you weren't happy the day I watched you go<p>

And all the things that I wished I had not said  
>Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head<p>

Is it too late to remind you how we were  
>But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur<p>

Most of what I remember makes me sure  
>I should have stopped you from walking out the door<p>

You could be happy, I hope you are  
>You made me happier than I'd been by far<p>

Somehow everything I own smells of you  
>And for the tiniest moment it's all not true<p>

Do the things that you always wanted to  
>Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do<p>

More than anything I want to see you, boy  
>Take a glorious bite out of the whole world"<p>

There was an onslaught of friendly, drunken applause and cat-calling and the muffled sound of yelling from the elderly neighbors in the apartment below them, but for some reason Gamzee didn't hear any of it. He stared at his shaking hands. A dreadful, awful feeling jolting up his spine. One he couldn't quite place in his inebriated state, but it still caused him to blanch and break into a cold sweat.

"Heh...Kar's motherfuckin turn," Gamzee said, unceremoniously dropping the guitar in his friend's lap.

"Fuck you Gamzee. You know I can't play this fucking stupid-ass thing," Karkat growled, throwing it to the ground. Normally, Gamzee wouldn't have been too happy about that but now he was too busy stealing away into the back of the apartment where he could collapse onto his bed and sleep.

He wasn't sure how long it had been, but he assumed close to five or ten minutes when a thin finger prodded him. He groaned and rolled onto his back, cracking open his eyes. "Wha?"

"Hey, uh, I'm going home, okay?" Tavros asked bashfully, tucking his hair behind his ear as he fidgeted with his car keys.

"You can't...you're drunk. John's drunk...everyone's drunk. I'll motherfuckin drive you, okay, lemme just-" Gamzee closed his eyes again, blindly searching the bed for his shirt.

"You're drunk too," Tavros pointed out with a giggle.

"Guess you just gotta chill here for the night, brother," Gamzee murmured, rolling onto his side, and almost off of the bed. "Here- just-" he absentmindedly rolled to the other side of the futon to make room for Tavros. "Go ahead and motherfuckin park there for a bit."

"Uh..." Tavros turned bright red, scratching the back of his head. "Maybe I should just...call Dave-"

"Why you wanna motherfuckin leave anyway?" Gamzee asked, opening his eyes to look up at him. "Don't needa bother him when he's all got his motherfuckin official doctor shit to take care of."

Tavros sighed and nodded, shifting his keys between both hands. "I...don't really know anyone here. And John's, uh, occupied with Karkat and stuff. I'm also pretty tired."

Gamzee closed his eyes again, patting the spot next to him again.

Tavros watch him. "Uh..."

"C'mon. I don't motherfuckin bite," Gamzee laughed tiredly. "Just drool a little bit...and snore and maybe kick and talk a little, but nothing a brother can't handle, right?"

"I uh, guess not," Tavros said softly, scratching the back of his head.

A few moments passed before Gamzee looked up at him again. "Well? Hop in," he said, reaching out to take Tavros' hand.

Tavros smiled wearily. "I don't think jumping into bed with someone I've only just met- someone who mistook me for their dead lover, and sort of...made a big whole deal about it!"

Gamzee sat up, resting his cheek against his hand with his elbow on the futon. He raised an eyebrow, smiling aloofly. "You're the one making a big motherfuckin' deal about it, Tavbro."

Tavros looked down, ruffling his hair a bit. Against his better judgment, he agreed. He was the one making a big deal out of what was a small misunderstanding. But that could have been the alcohol talking as well.

Reluctantly, he shoved any negative thoughts into the back of his mind and slowly slid onto the futon, watching Gamzee carefully. He began to relax as he noticed Gamzee seemed very much asleep until he muttered- "You can all up and take your pants off, you know."

Tavros flinched slightly. There was no way. He was extremely insecure about his prosthetic legs. John hadn't even know until a good year into their friendship. "Uh...no- no thanks."

Gamzee nodded and rolled onto his side- away. It wasn't long before he had fallen asleep.

* * *

><p>"Where is he?" Dave wondered allowed, staring at his phone. He stood up, sat back down, and stood again. If the couch could feel it would have been sore from the constant movement and squirming of its owner.<p>

"Heheh, I'm sure he just lost track of time," Terezi said, petting her seeing-eye dog, Charles, as he laid on the floor, exhausted from running around with his master and her crazy friend.

"That's ridiculous. He knows his curfew is 12, and it's now-" Dave checked his watch. "3:30. Three thirty, TZ!" He inahled sharply, closing his eyes behind his sunglasses and releasing the breath in one, slow motion. He'd been having a lot harder of a time keeping his composure lately; what with...Gamzee now in Tavros' life.

He knew that's who Tavros was with- who else? John wouldn't dare keep Tavros out past the curfew Dave kept for him. And John was the only friend Dave had expressly approved Tavros to have- He sighed again. He was being neurotic again, but...

"What if he's out drinking?" Dave mused aloud, looking at Terezi.

Terezi grinned widely, leaning back on the chair. "So what if he is? You're too controlling with him, Dave. You can only keep him so tight in your hands before you crush him to death."

Dave was quiet for a while, his head moving forward ever so slightly in a half-nod of sorts. "What if it makes his memories come back? What if he forgets about me?"

"It's been seven years and it hasn't happened," Terezi scolded. "You need to release your restraints on him a bit or he'll resent you, you know!"

Dave leaned back, lacing his fingers over his taught stomach. "Maybe you're right- No. I've spent too long, carefully coordinating his life so it didn't correspond with his past one. If he even remembers a little bit, I'll be ruined."

Terezi watched him for a moment, tilting her head with a crooked frown. "Geez Dave. You're so weird. And a little bit creepy, you know?"

Dave sneered slightly, his nose wrinkling before his face went back to neutral. "Well I'm awake now. Sleeping is pretty pointless since I have to be to work early."

"Oh yeah? Heh," Terezi laughed.

Dave looked at her, scooting a bit closer. "Yeah."

"And?" Terezi asked, nudging Charles a bit with her foot. She pointed to the library and the German shepherd obediently followed her order, though a bit begrudgingly. Terezi could tell he'd never liked Dave.

Dave didn't reply, merely placed a hand on his friend's thigh, sliding his thumb delicately under the hem of her thigh-high stockings as he leaned in, catching her lips for a moment, but was stopped when she pulled away.

"I feel sorta bad. Me and Tavros have history," Terezi said, leaning back on her hands so Dave was straddling her hourglass waist.

"What he doesn't know isn't going to kill him. God," Dave said, leaning down to kiss her again, this time more forcefully and with the added aspect of tongue.

She pulled away again. "Yeah but we're sort of friends. And before-"

Dave placed a finger to her lips. "I've told you not to talk about 'before'."

"Dave, he's not even here. God calm down. No one's gonna take him from you, okay?" Terezi sigh exasperatedly, chucking her red glasses to the table beside the couch.

"Gamzee..." Dave started, unsure of how to tell Terezi of his most recent discovery.

"Haven't heard that name in a long time, heheh," Terezi laughed, wrapping her arms around Dave's neck. "Heheheh, once upon a time, right?"

"Gamzee's found Tavros," Dave murmured, looking down.

Terezi visibly froze, staring in Dave's direction with brief curiosity. "Oh...Dave."

"Yeah," Dave replied.

"Oh..."

Dave rolled his eyes, knowing she couldn't see him do it, and leaned down to capture her in another forceful kiss.


	8. Strange Home

**Gosh...you guys thought you hated Dave for what he did before? It's only downhill from here. n Well...enjoy! **

**Uhh...I don't really know all the mechanisms of trigger warnings, but I think this chapter may have a tiny one? Gosh I don't want to soil anything so I'll shut up u;;;**

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><p>Tavros definitely took his time returning to his and Dave's home- or perhaps it was more accurate to refer to it as Dave's? Tavros had no ownership over it and- oh dear. He was letting his mind wander to random, frivolous things to distract himself from the impending wrath that was Dave Strider.<p>

Honestly, he wouldn't do anything too drastic except maybe yell a bit. He worried about Tavros so much. And here he was, five hours late and the worst boyfriend ever. He hadn't even called and-

"Shit..." Tavros breathed sharply as he jammed the front door key into the lock. He forgot his phone at Gamzee and Karkat's house. Well he figured he could just call it later and get John to drop it off or some such thing.

He opened the door and walked inside, quietly taking off his coat and trying not to make too much noise. It was still pitch black outside, so he didn't even notice Dave watching him take his shoes off from the couch.

"Well. You're very late."

Tavros jumped, gasping loudly and clutching his heart as his boyfriend spoke up out of nowhere. Dear God was that terrifying.

"Yes...I uh..." Tavros fidgeted. What could he even say? How could he talk himself out of this one? "I was at John's house and we fell asleep watching a movie. Sorry," he laughed lightly, turning around to face his angry lover.

"I called Jade," Dave said. He looked so deathly calm and cool that Tavros wanted to run right back out the front door and to his friend to be cuddled and shoosh-papped.

"O-Oh yeah?" Tavros asked, calling his bluff.

"She said John wasn't home. And that you weren't over-" God that calm look was torturous. Underneath was a torrent of raw anger. Tavros had known Dave for seven years now- seen things that Dave would never allow another to see and so he knew every minute twitch and movement and how much or little emotion it held.

"Oh yeah well...we were watching movies in his basement because the tv wasn't working in the livingroom," Tavros lied awkwardly, putting his hands in his pockets and swaying a bit on his feet. "Maybe she just didn't hear us."

Dave laughed one breathy laugh, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling as he nodded. "Yes, of course. That must be exactly what happened." He threw up his arms in a sort of slacked shrug before his body went rigid and his mouth fell into a grim line. "Except John told Jade that he was going to Gamzee and Karkat's apartment."

Tavros looked down. He really hated lying to Dave. So much so that he'd probably only done it once in the seven years that he could remember, and he didn't get away with it then. So how could he think he'd get away with such a flimsy lie now? "I'm sorry..."

Dave rolled his eyes behind his glasses, rubbing his forehead. "Shit. I'm so fucking tired I don't even care." He reached up and took off the large black shades, setting them aside and running his hands through his hair. He opened his arms, and Tavros immediately snuggled into them, smiling a bit at his lover.

"Uhm...Dave, I think I should be honest with you, okay?" Tavros asked timidly, holding his hand against Dave's chest.

"Make it quick. I want to get at least a little sleep if I can get away with it," Dave grumbled.

Tavros nodded, blushing. "I uhm...oh gosh this is sort of weird to say, but I slept with Gamzee."

"You-"

Suddenly Dave's hand swung out before he could stop himself. It went in slow motion- his brain processing one hundred thoughts at once. Maybe he was just overly tired? He would never do something like this to Tavros. He loved him so much it burned-

He loved him so much that that frightened look- Tavros' wide eyes and hands drawn to his face in a cowering position, equally as surprised as Dave was-

Dave fell to his knees and drew Tavros' trembling body into his arms, kissing him all over and begging forgiveness in a moment of total and complete uncool. He didn't even care about being cool right now. He was just too tired- too shocked- too terrified to notice that he wasn't keeping his facade up.

They stayed like that for a long while. Embracing, with Dave whispering small words of forgiveness and a bit of encouragement.

"Tav...how could you-?" Dave whispered, closing his eyes as he buried his face against the side of Tavros' neck.

"We slept in the same bed."

"What?" Dave asked hoarsely.

"I was drunk and tried driving home. But he was worried I'd get pulled over or in an accident so he let me sleep over..." Tavros murmured.

"But-"

"I would never do something like that to you," Tavros said, pushing Dave at the shoulders just enough so the other was looking at him. "Dave I love you so much. You take care of me and...well, you're my family. My only family. I wouldn't...do something like that."

Dave look away, frowning. He stood and grabbed his glasses, helping Tavros back up. His heart clenched when the smaller unsuccessfully tried to hide a flinch.

"Let's try and get some sleep." He slid his glasses over his eyes and led Tavros up the stairs, clinging to his waist like he was afraid he'd try and run away.

They entered the master bedroom and both immediately collapsed on their respectful sides of the bed, Dave pulling Tavros back against him so they were silently spooning. He nuzzled his chin over Tavros' shoulders and closed his eyes. He slept with his glasses on when he was upset, lest his distress cross over into his dreams and make him seem uncool for any reason.

Tavros would usually take them off during the night because Dave always slept like a rock, but he figured tonight his lover may really need them. His eyes flickered to the digital clock. It was five thirty. Dave had work at six, but maybe he'd call in his Bro to cover his shift? Bro did run the Hospital, so it shouldn't be a problem. But at the same time, perhaps he would prefer being out of the house for now?

Tavros sighed, rubbing his eyes. He winced as he accidentally prodded the blossoming bruise that marred his cheek bone.

* * *

><p>"Tavros!" John squealed, throwing his arms up when he noticed his friend pull into the parking lot. He ran to the car and peeked his head in the passenger's window. "Hey Tavros!"<p>

Tavros cringed, grinding his teeth together as his friend's loud voice grated on his nerves. "John I have such a hangover, could you, uh, not be so loud maybe?" he murmured.

John opened the driver's door, bouncing excitedly as he waited for Tavros to get out.

Tavros eyed him dubiously. "Why in the heck are you so, y'know, uh...hyper? You drank more than I did."

"Karkat made like...five hundred cups of coffee! Well, no, just a pot actually but I had like six...seven...I don't know maybe five cups of coffee!" John yelled, slamming the car door shut.

Tavros covered his ears, his limbs feeling weak and his mind moving listlessly between thoughts. John took his keys from him and opened the coffee shop, pulling his friend inside when he deemed Tavros was moving to slowly.

"Why didn't the boss open up?" Tavros murmured, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Oh she's doing something who even knows! Snow is never around, she's always running around being crazy!" John laughed, throwing on his apron and visor. Tavros slowly followed suit.

"Uh...gosh I just want to sleep," Tavros groaned, sitting on a stool and pressing his forehead against the table.

"Wow! Well I feel like I can do probably six hundred orders all by myself at one time, so you can just sleep and I'll do all the work! I won't tell, I promise-" John grinned proudly, crossing his fingers and then making a t over his heart.

"Good morning everyone!"

"Oh god not today..." Tavros groaned, looking up. "Good morning Gamzee."

Gamzee fluidly made his way to Tavros, leaning against the counter with a suave, yet laidback, look. "So how are you on this fine motherfuckin morn- holy shit-" He set down the coffee he was holding, taking Tavros' small jaw in his hands and examining the bruise over his eye. "You didn't have that last night...shit did I punch you in your sleep or something?"

A feral growl came from Karkat- like he'd known the feeling sometime in the duo's past endeavors in friendship. But the his attention was back on John who was talking at him about nothing and everything.

"Uh...no. I just...it was uh, really dark this morning and I fell down and uh, well...gosh I'm okay and stuff, okay?" Tavros said, smiling slightly.

Gamzee watched him for a moment, frowning but deciding not to voice his assumptions for fear of igniting conflict with his beloved. Instead he smiled the best smile he could manage and pushed the cup he'd brought in towards Tavros.

Tavros eyed it. "What is this?"

"It's coffee! I figured you'd have a motherfuckin hangover or some shit so I brought you some coffee from home," Gamzee said, nodding happily.

Tavros stared at it, quirking an eyebrow, and then looked around.

"...You don't like coffee or somethin Tavbro?" Gamzee asked, leaning on his hands.

Tavros put his head in a hand, sighing lightly. "Nothing about this seems a little, uh...odd?"

Gamzee tilted his head. "Huh?"

"Gamzee, I work in a coffee shop. You brought me a cup of coffee...to a coffee shop...where I work and can literally make myself as much coffee as I want for free," Tavros murmured.

"Oh yeah," Gamzee laughed. "Guess I just really wanted to see that motherfuckin radiant face of yours to make my day all warm and fuzzy and shit."

Tavros' tan face flushed and he looked away, leaning his chin in his head and covering his mouth for good measure. "Uh...wow...okay."

Gamzee smiled more, reaching out to ruffle the boy's hair.

"Gay," Karkat called, looking over at them.

John laughed, putting his face in his hands as he began to chatter again. Karkat sent Gamzee a withering glare, possibly for bringing him to the "bane of his existence", in other words the boy he was totally drop dead in love with, or maybe just for dropping such a cheesy line.

Gamzee laughed all the same, crossing his arms over his chest and smiling slightly. "Have a good day, okay Tavbro? Guess I gotta motherfuckin rescue Kar and shit."

Tavros gave him a nod and a smile, watching as he went to talk briefly with the other two. He sighed softly, touching his bruise with the very tips of his fingers. A dull pain coursed through his nerves and he moved his hand back away, laying his head on the table.

What was going to happen? How was he supposed to act around Dave? Did he just go back to pretending everything was fine and that they were totally and completely happy and nothing was wrong at all?

He still loved Dave to death. Dave was the one that saved his life. Dave was the one that gave him a life when he had none and had taken care of him, treated him so grandly until the night before. And even then he was only tired and stressed and Tavros was sure he smelled just a wee bit of alcohol on his lover's breath.

He waved to Gamzee and Karkat as they left, smiled as brightly as he could just so Gamzee would get that look in his eyes that he did when Tavros seemed to be happiest. He noticed that the taller male's eyes flickered to his bruise and his expression changed so minutely, Tavros almost didn't notice. But it was enough for him to catch since he had been observing so closely.

"Shoot..." Tavros groaned, putting his head in his hands.


	9. Im sorry for the poor quality of the ch

**Trigger-warning for dub-con! This chapter isn't super important, but if you're uncomfortable with dub-con, scroll all the way to the bottom and I'll include a TW;DR (Trigger-warning; Didn't read)**

**also this chapter is probably really shitty because I'm like half-asleep right now. BUT I AM DETERMINED TO DO THIS FOR YOU GUYS! **

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><p><p>

Tavros was waiting for Dave by the time the blonde had arrived home. He tensed, though attempted to make it as invisible as possible, but Dave did know him better than he knew himself. He leaned back on the couch and curled his hands in his lap. Nonchalance, he was going for nonchalance.

"Evening-" Dave pressed a cold can of Dr. Pepper to Tavros' temple, then leaned down to kiss the top of his head, grimacing when his fiancee shied away. "I got this for you." He placed the can in Tavros' hands, who looked up at him with curiosity.

"But it's uh, 7:40 already," the brunette murmured bashfully, receiving another grimace from Dave. "Won't it uh, sort of make me hyper...maybe?"

Dave averted his gaze from behind his sunglasses, walking to the kitchen. "Yeah well. I know you like it. Watch tv or something. I'm going to make dinner now."

* * *

><p><p>

Dinner was a light soup, something Dave would occasionally result to when he was eager to be in bed, or had a lot to do that day. Sometimes, even past his stone-faced facade, he just couldn't stomach heavy foods after witnessing wound after disease after dying child.

Dave was very versatile with his job, to some hospitals it may have seemed unethical, but in his brother's hospital he could be anywhere at any given time. Pediatrics, the ER, etc, etc.

They were both to bed early, not really having much to say, but Tavros could feel Dave's constant squirming (he generally slept like a rock so that only left the option of him being awake) and Dave being awake while Tavros slept...the thought just made him a bit uncomfortable.

The discomfort was too much. Tavros couldn't sleep either.

"Are you awake?"

The question drew a little breathless gasp from Tavros, and he turned on his side to look at Dave who, of course, had his shades on. It seemed strange, like he couldn't have been awake beneath those dark veils of glass, as if he were only sleep talking. "Yes," Tavros finally squeaked out.

"Good." Dave rolled over, catching Tavros' wrists in his hands. His mouth went to work immediately, giving Tavros no time to catch his shock when he felt the sudden pressure of his betrothed covering his body.

"W-Wait..." His small voice was lost in the silent din of the room's atmosphere, and so instead he swallowed his nervousness and closed his eyes.

Dave eagerly went to work at Tavros' neck, nipping and sucking here and there with the occasional nuzzle of their forehead, coaxing Tavros' tense body to surrender.

Tavros let out a shaky sigh, closing his eyes. He felt Dave's fingers brush lightly through his hair and, while the gesture was comforting, he was still terrified. He trembled lightly, which Dave could probably only assume was him trying to suppress the pleasure of being touched by his lover.

But now he didn't want that. He just wanted to go to sleep, or cry...He loved Dave, and he wanted nothing more than to make him happy, but he just couldn't do it right now. He was so afraid of the only person he had always been able to trust.

"D-Dave," he whimpered lightly, earning a small 'hm' in return. He swallowed, watching Dave's head bob thanks to his teeth grazing Tavros' Adam's Apple.

It continued a bit longer, Dave massaging and stroking the small section of Tavros' thighs that hadn't been completely destroyed in the accident years before. He moved down, eventually having gotten Tavros' shirt off so he could lap at the boy's nipples. His teeth latched onto one of the small golden rings and he pulled lightly, letting out a humorless laugh.

Tavros bit his lip, prosthetic toes reacting to the nerve-endings attached to the legs Equius had built for him. He curled and twisted, his fingers clutching the sheets beneath him.

Dave hovered above him with, what Tavros assumed must have been, a thoughtful look. He was so quiet, so calm, and then out of nowhere he rose, from hunched over to straight up in the snap of a finger and slammed his fist hard against the head board. "GODDAMMIT," he roared, swinging his legs over the bed and burying his face in his knees.

Tavros stayed frozen, terrified for his life at the sudden outburst. What had he done wrong? But at least Dave had concentrated his energy on the headboard rather than Tavros himself. He remained still, as if he could just disappear into the sheets, but that would be impossible and ridiculous.

Finally, he pulled up all the courage he could possibly muster, and crawled behind Dave, hesitantly embracing him. "You're bleedin..." he whispered almost inaudibly, eyeing Dave's scraped knuckles. And then he heard something...he must have imagined because Dave Strider does not _sniff. _

There was the most heart-wrenching tremor in Dave's voice as he spoke. "Casey died."

Tavros froze. No. There was no way. She was doing so well- "But-" He was left speechless, his throat closing as he tried to speak. "What did...John...do?" he finally breathed out.

Dave shook his head minutely. "She was on her last leg the last few days. I didn't want to tell John because I thought we could bring her health back up." With a shaky hand he picked up his glasses and repositioned them over his eyes, taking a deep breath as his nerves calmed down. "I've been so stressed over it this last week-" he looked to Tavros and stroked the small bruise over his eye. "That's why I." He didn't continue, simply left it at that. "It's no excuse."

"I understand," Tavros said, embracing Dave's chest. "You didn't mean it, it just happened, okay? I'm okay though so it's fine."

Dave looked back at him. "You're too good to me." He tilted Tavros' face to the side and kissed his jawline lightly. "Let's just get some sleep."

Snow spared you and John the work day to grieve over John's adoptive little sister's death. Jade, of course, had been upset, but not anywhere near the degree John was. John and Casey were inseparable, he treated her like the child he was always meant to have (having always been the motherly type at heart) and she acted like he was the father she'd never known.

When they found out Casey had an aggravated form of Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma, it was devastating, but John had always kept on a brave face for his little sister.

Even now, he was trying to be strong because he knew it would have been what Casey would have wanted, although Tavros continuously told him not to bottle his feelings up inside. John was already showing the seven stages of denial, so Tavros made sure to always be with him.

Karkat and Gamzee had heard second hand from Rose whom was friends with Jade. It was like a rift had formed in their universe, and time had simply stopped.

Dave, of course, still had to attend work although his brother gave him the day off, working would take his mind off of it anyway. People died every day.

John was like an empty shell after experiencing such a whirlwind of emotions. After awhile he could only lay in Tavros' lap and cling to him, staring away distantly.

**Sorry guys I have to stop here! I just really wanted to get this update out of the way for now but I just can't continue I am so tired. **

**Anyway,**

**TW;DR: John's adopted younger sister Casey died of Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Dave, the doctor taking care of her was super stressed from trying to keep her from passing away but it was inevitable. And that was the gist of what happened. uou**


	10. Checkmate

**Again, I apologize how OOC I make Dave! I'm not sure why, but I just can't...grasp his personality very well. Probably because I'm the complete opposite of cool. :B**

* * *

><p>"That's quite the conundrum," Rose hummed out softly, leaning back against her black leather chair with a thoughtful expression that was only slightly condescending. "And how does that really make you feel?"<p>

"Cut the crap Rose," Dave said calmly, straightening the sleeve of his coat. He'd come straight from work, his most recent bouts of uncool beginning to distract him from his duties.

"Dave," Rose sighed, adjusting herself so she was a bit more lax, though still retaining her natural professionalism. "Perhaps your guilty conscience is beginning to catch up with you? Causing an unbearable anxiety that is forcing the walls you've built up to slowly crumble, a metaphoric rust as it were. And perhaps the mere thought of the walls beginning to deteriorate is causing you to overthink it, ultimately leading to a self-inflicted downfall."

"Guilty conscience?" Dave drawled.

"Well yes, of course. You've been lying to the love of your life for seven years now, and you fear that all you've built up for him and for you will be destroyed in one fell swoop thanks to Gamzee's reappearance."

Dave made a thoughtful noise, going tight-lipped. He looked at the chessboard he'd momentarily forgotten. "Bishop to B5."

Rose's face contorted into a smirk- or more, a satisfied smile. "That will cost you your Queen, Dave."

Dave's mouth twitched ever so slightly, but he contained himself, trying to build up the walls he'd let falter in the last week. He exhaled slowly, attempting to make it as soundless as possible.

"Dirk would be ashamed of you, letting yourself be so easily perturbed," Rose said conversationally, taking Dave's Queen without mercy. "Don't you think?"

Dave calmed the nerves he thought he'd let die long ago, remaining deathly silent.

"Rook to C7, checkmate. I win," Rose said, leaning back in her chair. "Now tell me about Terezi."

Dave would have looked taken aback if he weren't trying so desperately to gain back the control he'd once had on his psyche. "What about her."

"Well you must know what I'm talking about, you had several calls from her on your phone," Rose said, regarding her clipboard for a moment.

"You went through my phone," Dave replied with an aggressive firmness. "That's a violation of privacy. Isn't that against the therapist's code or whatever?"

"I didn't go through your phone," Rose said, taking a sip of the tea she'd left on her desk. "I was only insinuating I had done so in the hopes that you would cop to your lascivious ways."

Dave stared at her for a moment. "I walked right into that one."

"Indeed you did dearest brother."

"We just hung out. Tav was missing and I was worried so I called her over," Dave said, leaning back against the couch. He threw his arm over the back-support.

"I am already filled in on with the details, even at your best I can read your face like an open book," Rose said. "Moving along, how is John?"

Dave looked away. "Miserable."

"How is Tavros?"

"Equally as miserable. Seeing John like that is killing him inside," Dave said, brushing his bangs back with his thumb.

"And you hate yourself because you don't have the emotional capacity to console him," Rose observed, causing Dave to look up abruptly. He narrowed his eyes behind his sunglasses.

"Who said that?"

"I did. Just now. It was an observation, Dave, and your defensive reflex only proves my assumption."

"God you can be really annoying sometimes, you know that?" Dave asked, straightening himself up again. "John will be okay soon. He's an optimistic guy. And then, when he's better, Tav'll be better too. And everything will go back to how it was."

Rose looked up at him as he stood, remaining seated. "You can't rely on John to keep Tavros happy and by your side Dave."

Dave paused, giving her an unreadable expression. "Your assumptions are getting awfully close to the line, Rose."

"John is a romantic. One day he'll be your imminent downfall. Tavros is a pushover, Dave, John will see he belongs with Gamzee and shove him right into your enemy's arms."

"Rose," Dave warned.

"Gamzee will find a way. His natural charisma will draw Tavros in and before you know it your little love will be all snatched up-"

"Rose," Dave said more firmly, his shoulders trembling involuntarily at the thought.

"Just like back then-"

Rose was cut off by the door shutting. Not slamming, like she'd anticipated, just shutting quietly due to her cold brother's hand.

* * *

><p>John and Karkat had been occupying the couch since Tavros had arrived. He was just getting back from his law classes, when he got the call from Gamzee. His best friend was in their apartment, sobbing his eyes out and incoherent since the early hours of the morning.<p>

Tavros explained to them what John could not; And both were sympathetic to the situation. Gamzee more-so, who suddenly became calm and a bit reserved once Tavros had explained.

"I'm going to step out for awhile," Gamzee said somberly, disappearing onto their balcony.

Tavros first tended to John's needs, adjusting him into a comfortable position, curled up with his head in Karkat's lap, and set a class of water and a box of tissues nearby while a DVD of Tangled (John's favorite movie) ran on the television.

Finally, he stepped out, savoring the fresh air that immediately rid him of the lingering salt and dense air the apartment had become subject to.

"Hey," Gamzee said, gesturing for Tavros to sit down across from him.

Tavros did.

"Where were you today?" Gamzee asked. "We were trying to contact you for awhile."

Tavros nodded lightly, a bit disturbed by Gamzee's sudden solemness. "I was in class, I'm so sorry...I know he can be a little hard to deal with when he's really upset."

"No, no-" Gamzee shook his hand dismissively. "It's no motherfuckin problem, I...know what a brother's going through. I was just worried about you when you didn't return my calls."

"Yeah Professor Suri is really strict about phones during lecture," Tavros grumbled, looking away.

Gamzee perked up a bit, confused. "Wait. You mean like motherfuckin college classes and shit?"

Tavros nodded. "I'm attending Stanford Law," he explained with a small smile. "His mother has a thing with the dean so he got me in. And uh...well, she was also a legacy."

Gamzee wasn't sure what to say, so he only stared. When Tavros looked back up at him, he averted his gaze, looking down.

Tavros looked a bit dumbfounded, it was definitely not a reaction he was used to. He sunk in on himself, brushing his hair back nervously. "Uh, well, I mean, u-uhm..." he stuttered, suddenly becoming very self-conscious. "Is...something, uh, wrong with...that?"

Gamzee looked away, shaking his head. "Nah, nah. That's really motherfuckin tight brother. That's like..." he looked up and made a small exploding gesture with his fingers. "All mind-blowing and shit. You always wanna be a lawyer?" He popped open the top of a beer he'd brought out with him, taking a sip.

"Uhm, well, I uh...yes, I...think?"

"Doesn't sound very motherfuckin sure, Tavbro," Gamzee said, offering him some of his beer.

Tavros took the bottle in both hands, holding it like a nervous child. He gripped it tightly so it wouldn't slip from his fingers, and then took a big gulp, handing it back. "Uh, well..."

"Wannna play a game?" Gamzee asked suddenly, perking up as an idea struck him.

Tavros blinked, tilting his head just so. "I- uh- okay?"

Gamzee grinned. "Alright. Whoever makes the other squirm and whatever gets to ask a question that the other brother must answer with complete honesty."

Tavros blushed, nodding lightly. "I- yeah. Okay. Alright."

Gamzee grinned. "Good. You can go first."

Tavros stood, approaching Gamzee, unsure. "I- uh. Okay. Okay," he said, cautiously brushing some of Gamzee's hair behind his ear. "Uhm..." His heart was racing. What on earth was he doing? He was engaged to Dave! If he ruined the sanctity of their promises to each other...although. Dave had cheated in the past. With that Terezi girl. He didn't see her anymore, but...and this was all just harmless fun! It was just a game.

Tavros swallowed thickly, exhaling gently on Gamzee's ear, causing him to wiggle and let out a small laugh, tilting his head to get away. "Ah man Tavbro, ya got me."

"I uh- did!" Tavros look shocked- with good reason, too, he hadn't even meant to do that. "Uh...oh god okay." He sat back down in the chair across from Gamzee. "Uhm...Do you...like...m-m...making...stuff!" he blurted out.

Gamzee laughed nostalgically, leaning back. "I love to bake myself a good motherfuckin pie. But Kar doesn't let me use the good ingredients anymore." His smile faltered a bit, but he leaned forward and interjected before Tavros could reply. "My turn!"

Tavros looked embarrassed, but nodded. "O-Okay."

Gamzee kneeled down on the ground, taking Tavros' leg. Tavros tensed, trying to get enough movement in his limp arms to try and keep Gamzee from noticing. "Gamzee wait-"

Gamzee grinned. "I know how to make a brother squirm and shit. I would bet money a motherfucker's all sensitive right-"

He stopped, his fingers on the hem of Tavros' pant leg which he'd pushed up enough to reveal his beloved's ankle. "Tav-"

Tavros finally managed to break himself of his stone-like state, and he pushed his pantleg back down, trembling furiously. "P-Please I'm really, I uh, my legs, I'm, I, s-sensitive," he stuttered, cringing as his own fingers felt the metal, blocked by the thick cotton of his cargo pants.

Gamzee looked up at him. He looked lost, confused, maybe even a little hurt. Tavros looked away, swallowing nervously. "I...God Tav I'm really motherfuckin sorry, I didn't- Holy shit."


	11. Engagement

"Wow."

Gamzee was speechless. He suddenly felt like he was detached from his body, like the world had stopped. Or like he was high, a feeling he wouldn't be so adverse to getting down with again at the moment.

"Uhm..." Tavros looked down nervously.

Gamzee tried to speak, he really wanted to console poor Tavros, but the words just wouldn't come to him. It was like he was floating in a dream. Finally, he found his voice and gave a choked throat clearing. "Tav I...Holy shit I'm sorry."

Tavros gave a light smile when Gamzee finally spoke, obviously relieved. He looked away and scratched the back of his head. "It's not a big deal. I'm sort of over it now."

"Still," Gamzee murmured, reaching forward to stroke Tavros' fauxhawk. "I wish I could've been there to help you and shit."

Tavros smiled and gave a shrug, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "No it's fine...we didn't even know each other," he said with a giggle.

Gamzee looked away. "Right."

Tavros watched him with uncertainty, fidgeting again from nervousness. He lightly kicked out his foot, tapping Gamzee in the shin and then apologizing with an anxious blush. "Uhm...so...I hope this isn't completely rude for me to ask, but what happened to your Tavros?" he asked quietly.

Gamzee opened his mouth to reply, though he wasn't really sure how. Thankfully, Tavros' phone went off at that moment, interrupting him. He exhaled a sigh of relief.

"Hello?" Tavros asked.

Dave twirled around a bit of thread that had come loose from his shirt, leaning back on the couch for a moment. "Hey."

"Oh! Uh...hi, what's up? How are you?" Tavros asked a bit too quickly, smiling a bit too brightly.

"I wanna take you to dinner tonight. When are you coming home?"

"Oh! Uh...soon. Gosh...that's kinda out of the blue," Tavros giggled, looking down at his lap. "Uh where to-"

"Ask John if he wants to come with that Karkat guy or whatever," Dave said, rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly. He yawned, propping his feet up on his couch's arm.

Tavros nodded. "Right...uh, okay. Uhm, and Gamzee too?"

Dave was silent for a long moment, causing Tavros to have a mild panic attack, hoping he didn't make his fiance upset.

"Uh...Dave?"

Gamzee frowned at the name.

"Right, sorry," Dave murmured, brushing his hair back. "Sure. He can come."

"Oh! Uh! Wow, okay. Awesome!" Tavos said with a grin. "I'm sure John will be very happy to get to hang out with you. I think Karkat's making him feel a lot bett-"

"Okay. I'll pick you up around eight. Be ready. Love you." Click.

And then he was gone. Dave was incredibly difficult to talk to on the phone. He was always distracted and impatient, and sometimes Tavros couldn't even get his point across. He sighed and hung up, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Uhm...oh gosh maybe I should've asked you first but uhm...do you wanna come to dinner toni-"

"I'd love to," Gamzee interjected, reaching out to take the nervous boy's hand in his own. "As long a I get to spend some time with you."

Tavros looked down, blushing hard. He pulled his hand away as subtly as he could and rubbed the back of his neck. "U-Uhm...thanks for wanting to spend time with me, really. I don't have a lot of friends or anything...if it weren't for you and Karkat I have no idea what I would do with John."

"It's okay. I know exactly where you're coming from," Gamzee whispered. "After you- Uh...I mean after Tavros..." He trailed off, looking over the balcony and into the city with a nervous inhale. "If it weren't for Karkat I would've..."

Tavros put his hand on Gamzee's thigh, peering up into his face. "Gamzee it's okay. You don't have to force yourself."

Gamzee kept his head down, hair veiling his face. His eyes peeked upwards, but his head stayed down and he caught Tavros' big brown eyes for a moment. They were so large and beautiful and he just wanted to hold him like he used to. Or...how he used to hold his Tavros? Or this Tavros who is a different Tavros but also his Tavros, or- No. No no, he wasn't about to let himself get caught up in that stoner logic again.

But he did do something incredibly stupid that he considered passing off as an accident but there is no way in Hell Tavros would actually think it was an accident. Maybe out of courtesy he'd pretend, but it couldn't be genuine.

He inclined his head and leaned in, pressing his lips against Tavros', his hand moved to the back of his head to hold him in place- even if just for a moment.

Surprisingly, he doesn't pull away, but he doesn't move. He's oddly receptive and Gamzee is kind of grateful, but he's nearly radiating discomfort and Gamzee didn't want to cause him any discomfort.

Even more surprisingly, just as Gamzee is moving his hand away to free Tavros, the other moves in and accidentally pushed him backwards (at least he figured it was an accident.)

He feverishly kissed Gamzee in return, his body all hot and trembling.

It could have lasted anywhere between a few moments to an eternity. Gamzee was really unsure. To him, it was a bliss that he never wanted to leave. Those dreams were cut short however when Tavros suddenly pushed him away, wiping his mouth furiously with a deep, scarlet blush.

It was then that Gamzee noticed Karkat at the door, looking judgmentally at them, although you're positive he didn't see anything. The atmosphere alone was enough to explain it all in detail.

"John finally stopped crying and I think he's hungry...what the fuck were you two doing out here for so fucking long?" Karkat seethed, obviously resentful that he was left to care for John. Gamzee figured it must have reminded him of a darker time in their past.

"Oh!" Tavros interjected. "Uhm...Dave wants to take us all to dinner! You know to help John get his mind off of things I guess..."

Karkat looked to Gamzee who couldn't help but look away, before he pursed his lips and looked back to Tavros. "I don't know."

"Oh uh...well it's okay if you don't want to-"

"No. We all up and motherfuckin want to," Gamzee said, giving Karkat a sharp look. The other rolled his eyes and stormed back inside to John who was sitting up and absently gnawing at the sleeve of his blue sweatshirt.

* * *

><p>The restaurant was nice. A little Italian bistro that seemed to have some sort of formal dresscode that wasn't mentioned because John Karkat Tavros and Gamzee were horrendously underdressed.<p>

As Gamzee took in the random little lattices and hanging foliage, he could hear Dave quietly arguing with one of the employees, no doubt about said dress code. A moment later, the waiter gave in and they were seated at a large table where a few others were seated.

Tavros looked almost as surprised as Gamzee when he noticed the others sitting there. He smiled sheepishly and gave a timid wave, obviously tensing.

"Took you long enough," Dave's brother Dirk drawled, rolling his eyes.

"Dirk, honey, no need to harass your brover," Dave's mother slurred, already slightly intoxicated. "I mean brother."

There was also Rose and he girlfriend Kanaya, Dirk's boyfriend Jake, Dave's uncle and aunt, and his grandmother as well.

"Hey," Dave regarded everyone at once, sitting beside Dirk. He gestured for Tavros to take the seat beside him, and his lover complied.

"You're as apathetic as ever," Dave's Aunt sighed loudly, rolling her eyes as she took a sip of her wine. "Honestly Roxy, your children are so disrespectful."

"At least my children aren't thirty and still living at home," Roxy sniffed, looking away.

"At least I'll have grandchildren," her sister sneered.

Dirk rubbed his temples slightly, Dave was still and Rose delicately touched her forehead with a sigh. Business as usual, it seemed.

"I shouldn't have invited you here," Roxy huffed back. "I love my children and what they choose to do or who they choose to love is none of your business."

"So," Dirk interjected before his aunt could reply. "How about we have a normal family outting this time?"

"I concur," Rose agreed.

"Oh yes, Dave sweetie who are your friends?" Roxy asked curiously, leaning forward in an unbalanced manner.

"This is John's boyfriend Karkat," Dave said, gesturing to Karkat. "And...Karkat's friend Gamzee," he said, this time gesturing to Gamzee.

* * *

><p>For Gamzee, time passed impossibly slowly. Apparently, meeting the family of the love of your life's fiancee wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Weird.<p>

He felt miserable as the night dragged on, feeling like hours had passed when in actuality it had only been a few minutes. And every time he chanced a glance at Tavros, Dave had him involved in some sort of subtly intimate activity. Whether it was a relaxed arm around the other's shoulder, or a quiet whisper in his ear.

Although, Dave seemed less tense lately. Almost like he was content with himself. Almost like he was scheming something and he thought it was the greatest plan ever.

It made Gamzee incredibly uncomfortable, considering he was being forced to keep himself from tearing the other apart anyway. So much for the relaxed state of mind he'd managed to achieve without lighting up 24/7. He couldn't help but clutch the edge of the table as their food arrived and Dave gave Tavros a quick peck on the lips before releasing him from his possessive talons.

Not too long into dinner, Tavros finally pays less attention to Dave and more to you. Dave is pretty distracted with his Bro anyway, who's been admonishing him for acting 'so uncool lately'.

"I never asked you Gamzee, what are you doing now? I mean with work and school and stuff?" Tavros asked.

Gamzee froze a bit, pushing his Chicken Marsala around with the end of his fork. "Right now?" he asked evasively.

"No, forty years in the future," Tavros laughed, rolling his eyes. "Yes right now! Are you going to school? Working anywhere special?"

Gamzee remained silent, eyes downcast. Thankfully, Karkat interjected, rescuing his friend from having to answer any pressing questions. "He wants to rap," the small spitfire said in a tone that said 'This conversation is over'.

Tavros complied, looking down at his food nervously. He hadn't meant to make anyone uncomfortable...but he wondered why it was such a concerning manner. He looked up, giving Gamzee a sheepish smile when the taller gave him an 'it's okay' sort of look.

Gamzee was about to try and engage Tavros again when a sudden clanking grabbed his attention. It was Dave, knocking his fork lightly against his wine glass. He stood as the attention of the table's occupants fell on him. He reached down and took Tavros' hand.

"So I brought you all here under the pretense of a small family outing, but really Tav and I wanted to announce that we set a date for the wedding."

Gamzee paused mid-life, confused, hurt, trembling as his body went into near shock. It felt like a dream. It had to be a dream. He didn't even get a chance to tell Tavros how he felt! He thought Tavros was beginning to realize they belonged together, but he was actually still planning on making his wedding with Dave more finalized? He felt sick. He was going to throw up and fuck he needed a bowl or three.

Tavros watched Dave with a furrowed brow, reaching out to touch his arm, but he received a sunglass-veiled look that denied any questions. He looked back down, trying to understand what the heck was happening.

"Oh! Congratulations baby!" Roxy cried, rejoicing as she hugged her youngest son. "When is it!"

"Two weeks from now," Dave said nonchalantly, disregarding Tavros who was openly gaping.

The Taurus was thrilled to finally have a date set for the wedding, even though he was a little upset Dave had, after denying setting a date for so long, sprung it out of nowhere. And so soon, no less! AND without even telling him before announcing it to everyone!

There was a loud clatter that went unnoticed by everyone except Karkat and Tavros. "I got it," Karkat murmured to Tavros, following after his friend as he wobbled off rather clumsily.


	12. Things you don't know

**Hey guys! This chapter is obscenely short, I know. And the quality is probably really shitty because I've had sort of a writer's block lately. **

**I also am recovering from a respiratory infection and writing is really hard when you're hurting. ;n; **

* * *

><strong>Anyway! I hope you can at least enjoy this chapter even though it's horrible. u_u<strong>

"Gamzee?" Karkat touched his friend's shoulder with fragility, trying to move himself into a position that would allow him to peer into Gamzee's eyes and see how he was reacting, truthfully. "Are you okay?"

Gamzee shook his head, brushing his fingers through his hair. A small, broken laugh reverberated in his throat and he had to crouch down to keep himself from collapsing. "I need a cigarette," he finally decided, standing again once he'd caught his bearings.

"Gamzee," Karkat said sternly, a hint of concern in his voice. His posture slumped and he watched the other's back pathetically. "Gamzee, please no...not again, please," he begged, panicked.

Gamzee grimaced and turned, embracing his friend who, at first, protested and then relaxed, on the verge of tears as memories flooded back to him. He squeezed Gamzee, digging his nails into his friend's back as a warning. "Don't," he added quietly.

Gamzee pulled away from him, smiling crookedly. He patted Karkat's head and shook it affirmatively before turning away again. "I'm walking home," he said somberly, a familiar tone in his voice that had Karkat shaking in his vans. He grabbed Gamzee's arms, glaring hard but his friend pulled away and hurried off before Karkat could try to stop him again.

Karkat watched Gamzee's back as it receded into the darkness, his cigarette burning lightly until it faded along with him. Karkat's expression went from lost and hurt to angry and accusing. He stalked back into the restaurant, sitting down heavily next to John. He took his boyfriend's hand, squeezing it until the other gave him a concerned look, which Karkat ignored.

There was so much he wanted to say to a certain someone. To the bane of his and Gamzee's existence, as much as Gamzee denied it. He was nearly panting, his heart racing in his chest. He wanted to scream. He wanted to scream so badly.

"Karkat-" John whispered, but Karkat shushed him lightly under his breath, breathing harshly though his teeth to create a hissing sound.

* * *

><p><p>

Dinner proved to be a difficult task for Karkat to endure. His nerves were crawling under his skin the entire time and he wanted nothing more than to go after Gamzee, but he was terrified to at the same time.

The car ride dropping off John was even worse than dinner, and when John was finally gone, everything went to shit.

"Uhm...so...why did Gamzee leave?" Tavros asked Karkat timidly, looking over at him for a brief moment before turning his eyes back on the road.

Karkat glared over at him, sneering before looking back out the window. He was quiet for a long moment before whispering a faint. "You know why."

An awkward silence wafted through the car, drawing Tavros' shoulder down with pressure. He cleared his throat lightly, smiling a weak smile. "So...uhm...Do you know what street I take from here?" he asked, drawing up all his confidence.

"Take me to the park," Karkat replied shortly.

"Oh, but...Gamzee will be expecting-"

"No he won't." Karkat narrowed his eyes, looking back at Tavros. "Take me to the park, right now," he growled lowly, clutching the upholstery.

Tavros looked down, gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. "I know...that Gamzee is upset, but...There was nothing I can do right in front of Dave's whole family," he said quietly, watching the road with a distressed expression.

"You don't fucking get it, do you?" Karkat sneered, turning to look at Tavros. "You just don't fucking get it!" he screamed, throwing his arms up.

Tavros flinched, looking over at him. "Karkat I don't know what you're-"

"I know you don't know!" Karkat snapped, holding his gaze as he wrinkled his nose. "If you knew you'd fucking back off! You don't know anything, you are just...just...AGH!" he yelled, hitting the dashboard frustratedly.

Tavros watched him, trembling. "Karkat why are you being so-"

"Watch the fucking road!" Karkat yelled, grabbing the steering wheel and driving them out of the way of an oncoming truck. Tavros screamed, pulling his hands away with a loud 'Oh my God!'

The car drove up on the curve and into a fire hydrant. Thankfully the pipe wasn't ruptured, but both were left rather breathless and shaky. After a few moments of catching his breath and calming his heart rate, Karkat kicked open the door and got out, wobbling on his trembling legs.

Tavros got out as well, watching Karkat nervously. "Why...are you being so...mean?" he asked again, his breath coming ragged from the terror of nearly crashing.

Karkat's body froze, seized up, and he turned slowly. "Do you want to know what I fucking think about you?" he growled, stalking over the the slightly larger male. He poked him in the chest, making the boy scoot back until he was against his car.

"You-" Karkat began, shaking his head with a slight chuckle. "You...have no idea what you have done to Gamzee...what...what you _DO_ to Gamzee. Last time he lost you...la...last fucking time-" He paused, looking down. Memories flashed in his eyes, and he looked down at his trembling hands with fear. "You...didn't have to be there for every fucking...overdose. You didn't have to pull that fucking gun from his head or cut him loose from that fucking..."

"Karkat..." Tavros whispered, reaching out to console him, but Karkat slapped his hand away.

"Just...just fucking...stay away from Gamzee!" Karkat yelled. "If I see you near him again I'll..." He looked down, swallowing back the worst of what he wanted to say until he was left with a simple; "I'll beat the shit out of you."

"At least let me...drive you back to the apartment Karkat," Tavros said, a hint of worry in his voice.

"I don't want to go back to the fucking apartment," Karkat grumbled, hugging himself as a cold breeze assaulted the side of his face.

"You can't sleep at the park," Tavros said quietly.

Karkat looked over his shoulder, eyes narrowed. "...If...I go back to the apartment...and Gamzee has...done something." He paused, looking down. "I'm not going back to the apartment tonight."

Tavros watched helplessly as Karkat left. He sank back into his car, sitting on the leather upholstery with his head in his hands. He didn't know Gamzee was struggling so much...He debated going to see him or not. If what Karkat said was accurate, then...he wanted to help him.

But his presence would probably only make things worse. He clutched his shirt, laying his head against the steering wheel. He didn't want this...He wasn't sure about marrying Dave, and he wasn't sure about separating from him...

He groaned lightly, reversing his car and inspecting the damage. It wasn't bad...just a little dented. He sighed thankfully and drove home.


	13. Feelings

**Wow! Sorry for the delay everyone! A few of you were worried since I suddenly poofed without any explanation after I said I had a respiratory infection, but you'll be happy to know I recovered withing two weeks and other than a few colds here and there have been in pretty good health! I've just been really busy with finishing cosplay and doing finals. **

**I'm also almost done with the next chapter of Posterity, which should be up hopefully tomorrow. If not, then within the week! I've been trying to write it for the last three days...but I've sort of hit a bit of a wall. **

**This chapter I wrote completely today |D **

**So, that being said, please enjoy this update! It is loaded to the brim with feels! uvu**

* * *

><p><p>

Karkat had spent the better part of forty minutes pacing back and forth in the park. He didn't know if he could draw up the courage to confront his hurting friend. Finally, he berated himself for leaving Gamzee alone for as long as he did. He was a coward and an idiot and if anything had happened...it would be his fault entirely.

His legs felt like lead as he ascended the stairs to their apartment. subconsciously, he searched the floor for any signs of blood or anything else that might have been a clue to something horrific.

"Gamzee?" Karkat pushed open the door, closing his eyes as he entered the dark apartment. His heart was beating so hard in his chest he thought he might explode. "Gamzee?" he called again. There was no answer. Gamzee wasn't in the living room. Karkat looked up and noticed a faint light in the hallway. It appeared to be coming from their bathroom.

He approached slowly, listening. The first thing he heard was the sound of retching which both relieved and worried him. Knowing Gamzee was at least alive was enough to force him to quicken his pace and he was by his friend in no time. "Fuck...are you alright?"

Gamzee looked up at him, wiping his mouth and flushing the discarded contents of his stomach down. He wiped away involuntary tears and leaned back against the porcelain bathtub, his chin against his chest. "Dope and alcohol do not mix," was all he murmured before passing out.

Karkat was at a loss for words, which was not much of a problem considering the only person he could possibly talk to was passed out. He sighed and rubbed his forehead, knitting his brows before he went for the strenuous task of getting Gamzee in the bathtub.

15 minutes and a few bruises later, Karkat was watching Gamzee sleep on his side while he sat on the toilet with his knees drawn up to his chest and watched. He knew he wouldn't be sleeping tonight.

When Gamzee woke up the next morning he was surprised to see Karkat's exhausted face staring back at him. He sat up and rubbing the back of his head, looking away apologetically. "Man Kar I'm all-"

"Motherfucking sorry and shit. I know Gamzee," Karkat grumbled, rubbing his eyes. The bags that had begun fading (John's role in Karkat's life along with Gamzee finally recovering had made sleeping easier at night) were now more prominent than they had ever been.

Gamzee stared at Karkat, rubbing the back of his neck. "You look like shit buddy."

"Yeah. Well." Karkat gave a vague shrug and reeled around, "I called in sick. We can watch some fucking...RDJ or something."

Gamzee was about to reply when the doorbell interrupted them both. Karkat looked at Karkat, almost expectantly, and then turned back to the bathroom door. "I'll get it," he said, leaving.

Gamzee followed closely behind him, but Karkat's thoughts were dulled from sleeplessness and he hardly even registered the padding footsteps of his friend. Karkat was suspicious of who might visit, but when he looked out the little peephole, he was excited. It was John. Of course he'd never openly show such excitement for his favorite nerd, but he did crack the slightest smile when he cracked open the door. The smile fell flat when he noticed that John was not alone.

"What are you doing here?" Karkat openly sneered, earning a concerned look from the brunette that single-handedly destroyed his best friend's life.

"I wanted to, uh, make sure Gamzee was alright...you made it sound really worrisome last night," Tavros murmured, looking down as he fidgeted with the hems of his argyle sweater.

Gamzee just watched from a distance, peering over Karkat's shoulder like a nosy child. He wrapped himself up in the blanket Karkat had given him the night before and sunk in on himself a bit, looking down.

"Uhm...if it's alright with Gamzee, I just want to talk to him. Please?" Tavros asked, smiling meekly. Karkat fixed him with a glare and looked over his shoulder, feeling pity at how reserved his usually unperturbed friend had become. Gamzee gave a small nod of approval so Karkat looked back at Tavros.

"Fine."

Karkat made way for Tavros, allowing him into the apartment and when John followed after, he took his boyfriend's hand, kissing it lightly. "Gosh Karkles, you look really exhausted!" John gasped, holding Karkat's face in his hands, only to have them slapped away in a childish manner. Karkat frowned when John laughed at him, but otherwise ignored it.

"Can we go out to the balcony?" Tavros asked Gamzee, but Gamzee only shrugged. Tavros gave Gamzee a wary look before pulling him off towards the balcony. "Are you okay Gamzee? ...Uh...wow okay maybe that was a stupid question. What I meant to ask is uhm...I mean...I don't know-"

Tavros was cut off when Gamzee's large hand cupped his cheek and tilted his face up. "I'm all motherfuckin fine and shit, okay?" he said quietly. Against his better judgement his thumb found the other's lip and ran along it. "I just...don't know how to quit you."

Tavros turned bright red, and he had to look away. "Uh...wow. Gamzee. I don't...uh...I mean I'm...well...Dave..."

Gamzee drew his hand away and reveled in Tavros' disappointed expression for a moment. He put his hands in his pockets, looking out over the balcony. "I thought I'd never see you again. I thought you were motherfuckin...dead-" He noticed how Tavros flinched when his voice cracked. He laughed a broken, defeated laugh and hung his head, shaking it lightly. "Sorry. Sorry. It's...pretty goddamn obvious I love you, isn't it? I love you so fucking much Tav. I love you so much it fucking kills me inside, but...fuck, just knowing you're alive and...and happy..." He trailed off for a moment, as if he didn't know how to finish the thought. "It really helps a brother go on living, ya dig?"

Tavros fidgeted, his face a deep shade of red. "Wow...uh...okay. That is really the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

Gamzee laughed and shook his head, taking Tavros' hand very carefully, so as not to scare him. "No. No that aint right. You're the most motherfucking beautiful person I have ever known. And I aint talking looks, either. Your soul is just...so motherfucking innocent and pure and your eyes...when I look into your eyes I see the biggest fucking heart I have ever fucking seen." Gamzee stared at Tavros, drinking him in. "You deserve to be treated like you're a fucking God. You deserve to be held and loved and fucking...sung to. You deserve to be worshiped every fucking day, mind body and soul. You deserve everything and you never fucking got even close to what you deserve. A neglectful dad...a fuckin junkie boyfriend. It's not fair...I didn't fuckin know..."

"Uh...G-Gamzee..."

"I didn't know Tav...I'm so motherfuckin sorry," Gamzee whispered, trembling. He fell to his knees as fresh tears squeezed from his eyes and he was forced to swallow back sobs. "Fuck...I...goddammit. I should have sung to you more. I should have held you more. I should have fucking told you how much I loved...how much I love you all the fucking time. I should have bought you more gifts and given you more kisses. I should have told you how beautiful you were every fucking second of every fucking day. Goddamit Tavros I should have loved you more. I should have realized...godammit I was such a stupid fucking kid. I should have made you stay with me that day. I shouldn't have let you go...why'd we have to fucking fight? One time...it was one fucking time...dammit...god fucking dammit."

"Gamzee...uh...wow." Tavros wiped tears from his eyes. He was feeling a lot of emotions at the moment. Confusion, fear, frustration. But he also felt inexplicably happy and loved. He hated himself for even considering what he was about to do, but how could he help it? It was so easy to get swept up in Gamzee's words...and those sad, broken eyes that were the most unusual shade of indigo. He knelt to the ground and tucked Gamzee's hair behind his ear, softening his eyes. "I uhm." He thought he'd know what to say, but he was at a loss for words. "Wow. Uhm."

Gamzee just stared at him before his eyes dropped to the ground. He couldn't take it. He couldn't take the pain anymore. He was happy that Tavros was happy, but he knew that his beloved could be happier. Dave didn't give him what he deserved...

"I really...don't know what to say. You're a great friend and maybe if it weren't for Dave-"

"I can kill him," Gamzee murmured, slowly rising.

Tavros pulled his hand from Gamzee's, staring with large and frightened eyes. He gaped, speechless.

"I was joking," Gamzee whispered. "I'd laugh to prove the point, but...yeah. You don't have to continue. I don't want you to be uncomfortable. Let's just...forget this ever motherfuckin happened, yeah?"

Tavros looked down, playing with his sweater. "Y-Yeah..." he reluctantly agreed. He didn't know what to think. Gamzee made him feel in ways that Dave never had, but Dave had always been there for him. He sighed and crossed his arms.

Thankfully it wasn't too long before John peeked his head into the balcony and smiled warmly at them both in that buck-toothed way he often did. "Hey! Karkat and I are gonna get some food, okay! So you guys should come with us too."

Tavros nodded vigorously, going to follow after John as soon as he pranced away, but Gamzee caught his arm and fixed him with an intense look that turned his legs to jelly. "Just because I'm feeling hopeless now, doesn't mean I'm giving up."

"Gam-"

"I don't care if you've been married to Dave for twenty years. I know in my heart that we were motherfuckin made for each other. Like peanut butter and fucking jelly. So you let Dr. Strider know he better start treating you better or I'm gonna sweep you off your motherfuckin feet."

Tavros stared at Gamzee, baffled. When Gamzee gave a small, meaningful look to the bruise on his eyes, Tavros' blood grew cold. But after a moment of riding out a series of nerves he gave a very small, but very distinct, nod.


	14. A Little Romance

There's a scene here that's supposed to be romantic but it's 3 AM and I'm watching The Nanny so I'm sure it's really not romantic at all

* * *

><p>Tavros was completely and undeniably bored. Dave was at work and Gamzee and John were both busy. He'd taken to some menial household cleaning just to pass the time considering there was absolutely nothing of value on daytime television. He had dusted every object in every room and all that was left was Dave's office.<p>

He knew he was forbidden from entering- probably because his fiance didn't want to risk Tavros messing up his things, but it was all that needed to be dusted and it might as well have been very messy from little to no maintenance.

With a sigh, Tavros easily found the key. The idea to finding things Dave Strider doesn't want you to find is by looking in the exact spot it -should- be. It was obviously a habit picked up from his brother whom had always placed things exactly where they shouldn't be.

It was confusing Tavros, but it was just one of his lover's quirks all the same. He gave a small, exhausted sigh when he finally managed to enter the office. To his surprise it was almost sterile with how clean it was. He felt a tinge of embarrassment for assuming Dave couldn't handle something as easy as cleaning. Then again he was very busy all the time, so it was an understandable assumption.

For a moment he stood in the office, looking at everything. It was a part of Dave he wasn't particularly allowed to see probably for the aforementioned reason of possibly messing everything up. Tavros stuck his tongue out at the thought, even though he knew it might not have even been true.

Before he knew it he'd dusted everything in the office except for the computer desk. He huffed lightly and sat in the computer chair, carefully dragging the duster along the keyboard. The only thing that really bothered him was a little gray spot on one of the keys that didn't seem to want to leave. He tried to be vigorous, but careful in his cleaning ritual but when he became just a bit too aggressive he accidentally pushed the enter key, causing the computer to turn on.

He was about to leave it at that and give up, but something caught his eye. A name he'd thought was a thing of his very distant past.

'Terezi Pyrope

Subject: What's up slunt

Message:  
>Hey Strider pick up your stupid phone! I've been trying to get ahold of you for like three days already.<p>

Didn't you say we were getting together this weekend? Although I can't really condone us banging when your boyfriend is now OFFICIALLY YOUR FIANCEE. HEHEHE.'

Tavros took a step back. He was in sheer, unadulterated terror. He'd gone through this before with Dave, and the other had promised to change. He hadn't forbade Dave from seeing Terezi, but Dave had insisted.

He felt so lost and betrayed and hurt. He felt detached. A foreign need for some sort of recompense settled into the put of his stomach that momentarily scared him before he shoved the fear away and pulled out his phone. He was very thorough in making sure he left the room as it had been before, double checking to make sure he locked it and put the key back where it belongs.

* * *

><p>Gamzee was delighted when he received the text from Tavros that simply read 'I'm coming over'. Since Karkat was out with John they'd have the apartment to themselves which meant he could pay extra attention to reeling Tavros back to him. It had been a rocky few days and he felt mentally exhausted but he refused to let Tavros slip from him again.<p>

When the doorbell rang he tried not to seem too eager. For a moment he stood there, trying to count to three but quickly gave up and swung the door open. He didn't get a chance at greeting before a little tan blur nearly flung itself at him, knocking him over. "Woah Tavros buddy are you alri-"

He was cut off by a pair of soft, familiar lips. He couldn't have finished the sentence anyway; Not with how his beloved's hips were rolling gently against his own. He relented for the few blissful moments that his brain turned off, but when rationality reared its ugly head he was forced to act. He pushed Tavros away, holding him by the shoulders. "Woah there bro! What's all this motherfuckin change of heart coming from?"

Tavros stared at Gamzee, panting lightly. "Uhm...I..."

Gamzee waved it off. "Once upon a time I had a sense of morality but none of that matters when the bro I fucking love is right in front of me. Wait here."

Tavros watched Gamzee as he padded off into the back room. He was confused, to say the least, but his lethargic brain was currently the least of his problems. He knew this was wrong. He knew this was horrendously wrong. On two counts. The first being that he was betraying his fiance and the second being that he was playing with an innocent man's heart.

He brushed his hair back, sitting on the couch. He felt miserable, but he couldn't stop now. He debated on whether it would be worse to string Gamzee along or leave him now. What would Gamzee do? What would he do? What even was he doing? He felt confused so he grit his teeth and clutched his head, groaning as he fell sideways on the couch.

Moments later he was retrieved by an eager Gamzee who pulled him to his room. Tavros stared at him in confusion, feeling a bit sick as he realized what exactly he was doing. What was he thinking? Honestly! But when Gamzee opened the door to his room, revealing a scene straight from a romance novel, Tavros was lost again. The rational part of his brain had officially gone on vacation and was most likely never coming back again.

The room seemed to have been transformed and Tavros is sure Gamzee had had this idea in his head for a long time. The futon had been moved into the middle of the room which was actually quite aesthetically pleasing. It was covered in pure white sheets and rose petals. The window had a beautifully jerry-rigged white curtain arrangement and the room was completely cleaned. There were candles, music, flowers...The flowers seemed fresh. When the curtains blew in a particular way, Tavros could see the flowerbed outside of the windowsill where Gamzee must have gotten the flowers. He smiled a bit.

"Uh...wow...this is...uhm..."

Gamzee shushed Tavros tenderly, smiling as he shook off his jacket and carefully tossed it into the hamper. He moved to the radio and turned it on, filling the room with a gentle, romantic ambiance. He wrapped his arms carefully around Tavros' frail waist, gazing into his eyes lovingly. "You mean more to me than anything, Tavros. I would die for you," he said quietly. "I would motherfucking kill for you if you asked me to. No questions asked. You're my everything I just...you're alive..." He shook his head, grinning to himself. "You're alive and you're healthy and now we just need to make sure you're happy."

Tavros listened to him, but barely heard. He was...baffled. He had sort of just wanted to come in, do the deed and leave. Easy in easy out. Somehow the romance of it all was scaring him. "Uhm...Gamzee...?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"Let's uh...get...to it," Tavros replied awkwardly, pulling away so he could get out of his clothes. He kept telling himself to just do it already; While all rationality and morale was suppressed, but it was so hard when Gamzee was being, well, Gamzee, he supposed.

Gamzee happily complied, taking in Tavros' half-naked form. He was down to his boxers and had almost forgotten to feel self-conscious about his legs- though not quite. Gamzee's hands snaked back around his waist and the man's lips met Tavros' neck, beginning to nip and suck their way to collarbone. A pair of firm thumbs rubbed at his hips, causing Tavros to blush.

"Gamzee," he whispered, drawing the other back up so their mouths could meet in a clash of teeth and tongue.

In moments they were tangled up on the futon, flesh grinding sensually against flesh as they became enthralled in one another.

Time was moving in fragments until before Tavros knew it he was staring up at Gamzee and trying to adjust to the sudden intrusion in his tight entrance. He winced a bit, biting his lip to keep from making any pained noises.

Gamzee was very intuitive to his needs, making sure he was comfortable and taken care of. He gave Tavros ample time to adjust before he began a very slow, gentle thrusting rhythm that was almost agonizing to Tavros. He begged the other to go faster, but Gamzee calmed him with one careful kiss.

Eventually they had moved on to a more suitable pace and Tavros was gasping and panting with anticipation and satisfaction. For the first time since the early stages of his and Dave's relationship, Tavros felt completely and undeniably loved. He couldn't pull his brown eyes away from Gamzee's indigo. He was lost in them, like two mirrors into the heart of the universe.

* * *

><p>"Are you feeling alright?"<p>

Tavros smiled softly, nodding. "For the hundredth time I am fine Gamzee Makara," he said in a pseudo-scolding voice.

Gamzee smiled, brushing Tavros' hair back. "Tavros...I love you so much," he whispered, stroking his beloved's cheek. He stared into his eyes, smiling passively. "You're amazing."

* * *

><p>((Ah I'm going to make a chapter break and stop it here, even though it's pretty short to stop! uou))<p> 


	15. OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY

JESUS CHRIST YOU GUYS IT WAS SIX AM I UPDATED THE WRONG STORY

I'M SORRY OH MY GOD I'M SO STUPID

THIS CHAPTER MEANS NOTHING IGNORE IT

IT'S FOR MY FANFIC POSTERITY

I JUST

OH MY GOD

I WAS WONDERING WHY I HAD SO MANY REVIEWS FOR CLOVERFIELD WHEN I DIDN'T EVEN UPDATE IT YESTERDAY I JJST

WJWEO:SDF:LKWES:dlf. I'M SO DUMB I'M SORRY


	16. Realization

Tavros had hoped it had never happened when he woke up in his own bed the next morning. He told himself it was just a dream, and nothing more; That he could never imagine cheating on Dave even if his fiance had done it to him in the past. Dave was stressed and Tavros didn't exactly help, so as long as he didn't do it again...or, for a third time, it would be alright.

But Tavros' hopes were shattered when he received a single text message from the man that loved him.

'Hope you were comfortable. I love you. 3 :o)'

He groaned and threw his phone on the ground, rolling onto his stomach with an irritated sigh. What was he supposed to do? It didn't make him feel any better. He wasn't happy. It only made him more confused. Was he supposed to tell Dave? Was he supposed to leave him?

"Fuck me," Tavros sighed, brushing his hair back with his hands. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, folding his hands over his stomach. He loved Dave; He was the one that had saved him, but he also couldn't deny having strong feelings for Gamzee.

And he was still confused about the whole past thing. Was he Gamzee's Tavros or was it all just a huge coincidence? Weirder things had happened in the history of the world after all.

He thought back to earlier that day, which had remained temporarily repressed until the text brought rational thoughts back to the surface of his brain. He remembered gathering his things and taking the walk of shame down the hall and into the living quarters where Karkat was sitting, waiting for him. He looked exhausted with big black bruises under his eyes from lack of sleep.

His arms were crossed, his skin looked more sallow than usual. "You're cruel," was the first thing to exit his mouth.

Tavros had considered hanging his head in affirmation and walking away, but something possessed him. It was a something that he had never felt in his entire life. Like a burning rage that pushed him into defending himself despite every timid bone in his body. "Why do you hate me so much?" he suddenly snapped, trying to keep his face looking stern and demanding, but it faltered into something of shocked rejection. "You have no idea what I'm going through, so stop sticking your head into other people's business!"

Karkat gave an amused expression, leaning on his hand. "I know, I know. Your life is so fucking terrible. You've got this great, rich, powerful fiance with whom you share this big beautiful fucking mansion. You have a more than awesome, very loyal best friend and not a care in the world. And on top of all that, a gorgeous, talented, caring man that loves you very deeply. A man who's emotions you play with every chance you get. I think I'm more than just in fucking hating you."

Tavros nearly relented; He was close to tearing up and walking away, but he powered through. He told himself vehemently that he needed to stick up for himself. "You don't know what it's like to have your entire world turned upside down like mine has been. My life isn't perfect. Dave makes me feel secure in life, but I don't want to be someone's...someone's...trophy wife! I don't want to be a toy that he can manipulate into his vision. Gamzee makes me feel so loved...but, but at the same time the freedom scares me! These last seven years I've been able to remember have been planned and scheduled and plotted out carefully so I could be some other version of what I really am...but I don't know what I really am! I don't know who Tavros is, or...or was. I'm just...this thing that has been forced and molded and it's not me. It's not! I want to be the Tavros Gamzee loved. I don't want to be...this thing I am now."

Karkat stared at him, his eyes slowly sizing the other boy up. He set his jaw, mouth turning into a snarl. "You better figure it out then."

Tavros looked away, ready to leave, but a though struck him. "Karkat?" he asked quietly. "Do you love Gamzee?"

"Did," Karkat corrected quickly. "I did. But it's obviously hopeless."

"How can you judge me for loving Gamzee, but staying with my fiance when you love Gamzee but settled for John? Isn't it just as unfair for you to play with his emotions?" Tavros asked softly.

"It's different. I didn't settle for John. I love him very much. I just left the past where it belonged. If you cared about Gamzee you'd leave him be."

Tavros went rigid. He wished he had the courage to take Karkat down and beat the shit out of him, but his timidity was too intense. He couldn't harm Karkat, even if it'd been unintentional. "I'm sorry Karkat," he said finally.

* * *

><p>Tavros covered his eyes with his hands when a sudden rush of light assaulted them.<p>

"Morning," Came his Fiance's stoic voice.

"Morning," Tavros replied, relieved to see Dave's face. He thought it might have been awkward to see him after what he'd done, but he had to admit the blonde's face always thrilled him. Even now.

Dave walked over slowly, setting down a tray of assorted breakfast foods onto the side of the bed. He sat down and straddled Tavros with his arms, leaning down to peck him on the lips. "You didn't come home last night."

"John and I had a movie night...at Karkat's place," Tavros answered immediately.

"Was Gamzee there?" Dave asked.

Tavros nodded his head, looking to the tray of food for some sort of silent support. "Yes."

Dave merely hummed and kissed Tavros again, taking a piece of toast from the tray. He turned the thing around in his hands, staring from behind his glasses. After a few moments he let out a long, deep sigh. "Look it's not..." He paused and was silent for another long moment. "In my family we don't talk about our feelings and shit a lot. It's just...kind of stupid to talk about emotions for us, okay?" he asked softly. He peeked over at Tavros who was taking a small drink of orange juice and retained a confused look.

"Tavros I love you more than anything. I always have. I want you to be happy, and I want to be the one that makes you happy. I know I can be cold and a little...less than great sometimes, but I would give my life for you and I want us to be happy together, okay?" Dave murmured.

Tavros looked down. For a brief moment he wondered if the other knew what he'd really been doing the night before. He nibbled on a piece of toast, pulling his knees to his chest. "I love you too," he replied, smiling a small but sincere smile.

Dave leaned in and kissed Tavros once more, making it deep and passionate. He closed his eyes, slowly easing his lover back onto their bed.

* * *

><p>"You look terrible!" John gasped.<p>

"Wow...uh, thanks John," Tavros grumbled, rolling his eyes as he entered Gamzee's apartment. He pulled off his shoes, bidding a small 'hello' to his friends- including a still bitter Karkat.

Tavros had tried to fix his disheveled appearance after he and Dave had had maritals, but to no avail. He was in a rush for the movie day John had planned for their little group of friends, so he had to make due.

He plopped down beside Gamzee who looked worse than he did. He must not have had any sleep the night before. "Are you, uh...alright Gamzee?" Tavros asked gently, patting Gamzee's arm.

Gamzee merely smiled and gave him a look that told him not to worry about it, but that didn't stop Tavros.

They ended up watching Mean Girls per John's request. He was the only one more than a little interested in it, however, as Karkat merely sneaked kisses or fondled his lover, and Gamzee fell asleep. Tavros paid attention but couldn't help but be distracted.

"We're out of root beer!" John announced from the refrigerator. He'd gotten up in the middle of their second movie- National Treasure- to get a drink. "Karkat let's go to the store."

"We don't need to go to the store!" Karkat sighed, frustrated as he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

"C'mon Karkat! Yes we do," John said, taking Karkat's hands and tugging on them.

Karkat gave a long, drawn out sigh, and looked over at Tavros and then Gamzee. He gave Tavros a warning look, before he stood and followed after his anxious boyfriend.

The silence that filled the room was almost deafening as Tavros took in Gamzee's sleeping form. He was so handsome, it was a shame he hadn't fallen in love with someone that could readily love him back.

Tavros tentatively touched Gamzee's forehead, flinching when the other moved. He waited a moment before proceeding, tucking a lock behind the other's pale ear. "Gamzee," he sighed breathily.

He was surprised when Gamzee stirred again, and a light smile graced his lips. "Love you," the man murmured in his sleep, adjusting himself.

Tavros was ready to blush and turn his face away from embarrassment when the ceiling light reflecting off of something metal made him curious. "What's this?" he wondered aloud. He thought for a moment that he might be crossing some sort of line, but something drew him to the metallic object tucked under the other's shirt. He pulled the necklace by the chain, carefully pulling it out.

For some reason he chuckled when he realized it was a dog tag. How like him. Tavros was close to returning it to its rightful position when the engraving caught his eye.

"No way," he whispered, reaching into his own pocket with shaking hands. He inhaled deeply, trembling.

He placed the dog tag he always carried with him to Gamzee's own, amazed. They created a perfect heart, the entire inscription reading 'Tavros :o) (:{ Gamzee' when held side by side.

The doubt he'd had in his mind was abolished and there wasn't a single question about it. He was Gamzee's Tavros and they had been deeply in love it seemed. He felt himself growing paler and paler and after slipping the tags back to their rightful places, he curled back up against the couch, thinking hard.


	17. Dreams

**Reviews fuel the fire everyone! Especially with how busy I've been...I need the encouragement. *Curls up and dies***

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><p>"Ah shit did I fall asleep?" Gamzee asked, stifling a yawn as he rose, stretching. He wiped his eyes, smiling brightly at the tan boy when his eyes fell on him. "How long was I out?"<p>

"Not long," Tavros replied, keeping his eyes trained on his fidgeting hands. He peered over at Gamzee, looking sheepishly away when he caught the man's adoring look.

"Everything alright Tavbro?" Gamzee asked, shaking the other's shoulder before pulling him into a one armed hug.

"Huh? Oh...uh...yeah," Tavros replied.

Gamzee watched Tavros uncertainly, then gave another unrestrained smile. "Good. Can't have you bein all motherfuckin sad and shit, right?"

* * *

><p>"It's completely reasonable to be fearful, Dave," Rose said, crossing her legs as she sipped at her tea.<p>

"It's cowardly is what it is, Rose. I basically have Tavros locked up in this big huge cage cus I know if I told him the truth he probably wouldn't love me like I always loved him...I mean, God! I'm an idiot! His entire life as he knows it is a lie and it's all because I'm too in-fucking-secure to tell him the truth!" Dave groaned, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.

"Because."

"What?" Dave scowled.

"Cus is inappropriate. The word you are looking for is 'because'," Rose elaborated.

Dave turned away from her on the couch he was sprawled out on and glared hard, crossing his arms. He never felt the need to have defenses up when he was with his sister. "Whatever."

"Dave have you ever considered Tavros might be better off with Gamzee?" Rose asked curiously. "Have you ever thought that, perhaps, the only reason he stays with you now indefinitely is not out of 'love', but security? Of course he would not realize it as such, but it's the undeniable truth. You are all he's ever known, and because you won't let him flourish and have actual social interactions, he's never been able to stretch his legs so to speak."

Dave was silent for a long time before tightening his jaw. "Whatever."

"You're acting like a child, Dave," Rose scolded. "This is not preschool and Tavros is not your toy. I'm not asking that you give him up, but tell him the truth before he finds out through some other means. I don't believe you'll like the results of the latter."

Dave sat up, resting his chin in his hand as he looked at her. He didn't speak at first, only surveying his options. "Gamzee is a raging ass. He's not good for Tavros."

This time Rose fell silent, looking at Dave with what was almost furious judgement. "Gamzee has been the only mature one in this whole ordeal."

"What?" Dave scoffed, looking baffled. "How on earth could you say that! He's trying to take -my- fiance. He's a huge, over-entitled asshole."

"Dave," Rose said, voice calculated. It sounded like she was trying to control her anger. "You were the one that lied to Tavros and took him from Gamzee. Gamzee has known all along that Tavros was -his- Tavros, but did he spend every waking moment trying to pull Tavros from you and convince him that they were actually lovers? No. He gave Tavros the option to choose whom he loved in the end, a luxury you did not grant him."

Dave was silent again, opting not to reply at all. After a fair amount of time passed, he gave a tired, relenting sigh. "I've been destroying myself over making sure he never found out the truth."

"In vain," Rose agreed.

Dave rolled his eyes from behind his glasses. "I don't even know who I am anymore," he groaned, rolling onto his stomach and burying his face into the cushions. "I've been so uptight lately."

"I would be lying if I said you were wrong."

"I should tell him everything."

"You should." Another long silence permeated the air until Dave sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Tomorrow." He stood and bid his goodbyes, shuffling out of his Sister's office.

* * *

><p>"Hey Tavros can I talk to you?" The blonde was small, frail even, compared to his naturally thicker friend. He was pale as the moon and looked too meager to handle himself. Looks can be deceiving however, for Dave was an expert in both defense and offence despite how slender he was. At the very young age of twelve, there was no doubt he would be able to take down a professional if he wanted to.<p>

The funny think about him though, was how little anything bothered him. He was an enigma, truthfully. There was only one thing- or person rather- that could grate on his nerves time and time again. He shoved that annoying asshole out of his mind for the time being however. Today was supposed to be a good day.

Tavros looked up at Dave, smiling brightly when his best friend took a seat next to him. He pulled him into a tight hug, causing the poker-faced boy to blush a light tinge of scarlet.

"What, uh, is it?" Tavros asked, excitement and nervousness evident in his tone. He was always such a worry wart.

Dave smiled adoringly at Tavros, enthralled with how easily he could gain so much excitement at a single utterance.

It was true Dave had had feelings for Tavros since he first knew what romantic feelings even were. It was hard to drop hints to someone as oblivious as Tavros, and Dave knew he had nothing to lose. Even if Tavros didn't return his feelings, the friendship would always be there. It had seemed like such a simple idea.

He turned, straightening up and slicking back his blonde hair in a show of put-togetheredness.

"So, Tavros," he started, trying to sound less nervous than he felt. It was the butterflies; they were unavoidable. He cleared his throat and perked up, taking Tavros' hands. "We've been friends for a long time-"

"Tavros!" Terezi screamed, jumping up and down as she hopped over to him, obviously very excited. "Tavros!" she yelled again, clutching his shoulders.

Dave glared at the girl, about to ask for some privacy, when Terezi effectively silenced him.

"Something important is about to happen! Heheh!" She chuckled darkly, shaking him by the shoulders and causing him to feel dizzy.

"Terezi slow down!" Tavros gasped, trying to regain his bearings. He looked at his friend and frowned, pushing her away from him.

"Uh...Tavros, what I was trying to say-"

"Dave hush! This is more important!" Terezi hissed excitedly, trying to catch her breath. She slammed her hands down on Tavros' shoulders and moved in on him, grinning manically. "Gamzee Makara!" she squeaked.

"...Gamzee Makara?" Tavros murmured uncertainly.

"He's coming here!"

Tavros gave her an odd look, biting his lip. "Uhm...Okay?"

"To...Tavros are you ready for this?"

"Tavros," Dave said quickly, trying to get a word in while he still could. He began to grow a bit panicked- Internally of course, sensing what was coming.

"Gamzee freaking Makara is going to ask you out!" Terezi finally finished, incredibly dramatically.

Tavros' eyes went wide, and he looked awed. "What! Uh, woah...no way, n-no way!" he panicked, wringing his wrists. "Oh my God! Wow...wow wow holy...jeez...oh, wow!" he squeaked, grabbing Terezi for support. "When is he coming!"

"Now!" Terezi yelled. They held onto each other, both panicking for their own, dumb, twelve year old reasons.

Dave rose, trying to regain Tavros' attention. "Tavros...I was going to ask you something?"

Tavros turned to him, smiling brighter than Dave had ever seen him smile. The tan boy grabbed his best friend's shoulders and squeezed, trembling from the sheer excitement. "Can't it wait, Dave!" Tavros gaped. "Gamzee Makara wants to ask me out! I hope it's not some sort of joke. Oh gosh do I look okay Terezi?"

Dave stared, slightly dumbfounded. He watched as Terezi very nearly dragged Tavros away and out of his sight. He had to look around, trying to find something so out of place it would signify it was all a dream.

* * *

><p>Gamzee and Tavros had been going steady for a week when Tavros received the news. "I thought he was sick or something..." the boy said, frowning.<p>

Dave hadn't been to close in almost five days now. Tavros tried calling, but knew Dave's brother and mom weren't the most competent when it came to answering a phone.

"He moved away! All the way to California," Terezi elaborated. "I heard the principal telling the teacher."

Tavros frowned, fidgeting. "But...wow...why didn't he? I mean...he never even..." He looked like he might cry for a second. "He never told me," he finished in a whisper.

"Aw c'mon Tavbro forget Dib or whatever that dude's name is. He's not worth your valuable motherfuckin time if he's gonna all up and leave you like that." Gamzee kissed Tavros' cheek, smiling down at him.

Tavros looked dejected. "I guess...I just wish he would have told me."

* * *

><p>Tavros woke up with a start, an empty feeling in his chest. He turned to look at Dave, frowning. That was a weird dream, to say the least.<p>

"'R You 'right?" Dave murmured, half asleep. He slung an arm around Tavros and drew him close, burying his lips against the other's neck.

"I had a weird dream," Tavros sighed softly, burying his face in Dave's soft hair.

"'Bout?"

"Well...there was you, and me, and...uh...T-Terezi..." He seemed uncertain about continuing when he felt Dave tense around him. "And Gamzee. And well..." The more he remembered, the more he felt like he shouldn't tell Dave, but he pressed on anyway.

"You were trying to tell me, uh, something, but, uh, well...Terezi kept being all crazy and I guess we were best friends, and uhm. We were all really young, like, uh, maybe twelve? And Gamzee wanted to ask me out and, uh...yeah."

Dave was quiet for a long time. "Did you go out with him?" he asked.

"Uh..." Tavros was conflicted. He hated lying, but the truth might have been bad. Finally, he setteld. "Uh, yeah...I did."

"Hm," was all Dave muttered in reply.

* * *

><p>"I'll see you later Tavros," Dave said, kissing the top of Tavros' head with a small smile. "I'll be home late."<p>

Tavros sighed heavily, but kissed his fiance back, smiling just a bit. "See ya later, uh, dork."

Long after Dave had left, Tavros grew increasingly bored with the same old Nickelodean and Disney channels. He opened parental control, searching over the keypad on the screen with a bored hum.

"What would the password be?" He wondered aloud. He bit his lip, typing out the words 'Smuppet', 'Sword', and 'Crow' all to no avail. "Dammit," he whined, laying across the couch in irritation.

He glared at the remote for a long time, trying to silently demand the password to come to him, but it didn't.

Suddenly, a thought hit him. "Could you imagine," he snorted to himself at the improbability.

He sat back up, curling up on the couch and preparing himself to watch Cartoons when the not-so-probable plan failed. He carefully typed in 'Tavros'.

For a moment he was completely dumbstruck. It was so obvious and yet he had been a complete idiot and hadn't even -considered- it to be possible. "Wow," he sighed exasperatedly, effectively turning off the parental block.

He smiled excitedly, searching through the channels and flicking over one in particular. "Sleepless in Seattle...I think I've heard of that movie," he said to himself, excited. He noticed the little ID logo in the corner with excitement, perking up and settling in to watch. He was more than ready to finally have some relaxation.


	18. Discovery

I have been anticipating this chapter forever, but after putting it off forever I can't seem to get it right. Sorry this chapter isn't the greatest. u_u

And a tad bit unbelievable, but hey, it is fanfiction!

Ee I'm sorry I just really am not very happy with this chapter...I hope it's not too hard to follow! Reviews feed the fire!

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><p>Tavros watched the television with awe, excited. Whenever he was at home alone he only had children's shows and other boring stuff to choose from. When Dave was home they only watched what he wanted to watch. He wasn't ungrateful of Dave, and he didn't want to complain, but he was excited he could actually choose something to watch for once! Plus he'd heard Sleepless in Seattle was a good movie! He'd seen some of the beginning with John and Jade. He perked up as the show began.<p>

"April 3rd, 2006," A man dressed in a business suit announced, stepping forward as he lingered in a strange decrepit room. This was definitely not how he'd remembered this movie starting. He sat forward, curious. "The cold Seattle air seemed to stop short that night when the bodies of three friends were found, dead, mangled, cut from throat to stomach."

Tavros cringed, contemplating changing the channel to something else when the announcer continued, hands clasped together with a fake expression of remorse.

"A beauty queen, an athlete, and a student council president. All cut down in the prime of their lives-" Pause. Tavros frowned sympathetically as a picture of three girls was shown, all smiles and laughter and happy times. "But why?" The man continued. "And who was this mysterious fourth friend who's body never could be recovered?" A silhouetted headshot was shown, something eerily familiar about the black splotch that Tavros didn't seem to care too horribly for. He leaned back, shifting his feet.

"I'm Keith Morrison and this is Dateline: Sleepless in Seattle."

Tavros stuck his tongue out, bored already and heavy-hearted. He wasn't sure if he'd want to continue watching a documentary about three young girls dying so brutally; It just wasn't something he could enjoy. But something stopped him anyway as he pulled up the guide and skimmed the synopsis. It looked as though it was a new episode. He knew he wouldn't find anything as interesting so he cast aside his sensitive heart and watched as the program returned.

"She was my daughter. Of course I was devastated when I found out-" It was some other man now, looking distraught and old. Someone they were interviewing and apparently the student council girl's father. He was struggling to keep himself from sobbing, but couldn't hold back the few tears that broke through his facade. His head dropped and cut to another boy who reminded Tavros of Gamzee.

He had big fluffy hair but wore a ridiculous amount of...clown makeup. Literal clown makeup. It looked smeared and half-washed off though. It was streaky from where he'd obviously been crying and his shoulders still trembled and sagged as he tried to keep himself composed. Next to him was a girl that Tavros couldn't help but think was kind of familiar although he didn't recognize her at all. The boy had his head in his hands. They had to write in what he was saying because you could barely understand his unintelligible mumbling. He was obviously a wreck.

The announcer guy- Keith- stared on sympathetically, leaning forward. "What did you do when you found out what had happened?" he asked.

The guy looked up, embracing himself. He was kind of scrawny compared to Gamzee who was skinny, but not too much. And he looked a lot younger. But Tavros recalled that this was years ago so who knows what he must look like now. "I was..." he inhaled deeply, seeming to regain just a bit of himself. "I couldn't-" His voice trembled. "I went on a rampage and...trashed m-my whole *bleep*ing room. Anything that got in my *bleep*ing path. He is my soul-" He had to stop, accepting the girl's hug when it was offered to him.

"He was very dear to many of us. You would never find a better spirited person," the girl said softly. "Gamzee and Tavros were inseparable. Soul mates."

Tavros felt his stomach drop. His heart. His brain. He broke out into a cold sweat and suddenly reality seemed to shatter around him. He listened closely, shaking. It showed the boy again.

Tavros began to notice more and more similarities, even as he told himself the idea was ridiculous. There are plenty of people named Tavros and Gamzee. Who are in love. And look exactly like them. He wasn't in denial. Right?

Suddenly it hit him. The girl was Rose's girlfriend. It was unmistakable. He'd only seen her a handful of times at parties, but had never formally met her or seen her close up other than in pictures.

He continued watching as the announcer rattled on, but couldn't pay attention to any of it. He focused on pictures, videos, faces and all the while tried to convince himself he was dreaming. He had to be.

The program moved on achingly slow, refusing to feed the information to Tavros all at once like he craved. They showed pictures of him. A younger him. Pictures of a younger Gamzee. Pictures of people Tavros didn't recognize but should have. His stomach was churning violently.

They showed an interview of Gamzee- Alone. He looked slightly older. He had no makeup on and seemed exhausted. "You were the main suspect for a while, weren't you. How did that feel?" Keith asked.

Gamzee hung his head, seeming drawn of any strength. "Horrible..." he was quiet for a long time. "Awful. I love Tav. I love my friends. I would...I could never."

"You think they were falling back on you since there was no present suspects?" Keith asked. Gamzee was marble until he gave a short nod.

The announcer continued talking about Gamzee and how he had searched and pressed for answers on his missing lover. The bodies of the three girls had been found on the side of the road, abandoned to the wreckage, but Tavros' never was. There were drag marks that lead into the forest- supposedly Tavros' blood, but the body was never found.

Tavros' eyes were glued to the screen, chewing his fingernails until they threatened to bleed from the abuse. He was mortified. Eventually something came to light for the investigators- a mob called the Midnight Crew. They'd been incarcerated recently for the murder of a husband and wife. Apparently they had run them off the road and taken the organs to sell on the black market. A case very similar to the one of the four friends.

Eventually they found enough evidence to convict the mobsters of the crime and everyone moved on. Except for Gamzee who never gave up on finding his missing beloved. The program told about a fire, Gamzee moving, never heard from again blah blah blah. Tavros couldn't pay much attention. The program still wasn't over, but he'd heard all he needed to. He grabbed his coat and sprinted to his car.

* * *

><p>"What do you want for dinner?" Karkat asked. He ignored Gamzee who was grinning goofily (And of course Karkat knew why) and listened instead to John whom was flipping through the pages of a cookbook.<p>

"Make this!" he squeaked, holding up a page.

Karkat looked at it and sneered. "Hell no. Way too complicated," he growled, flipping the page to something else. "I'll make this tomato basil pasta."

John huffed and set the book down, sticking his tongue out at his boyfriend before returning the couch.

There was a brief silence until a large banging drew everyone to alertness. Gamzee strode to the door and swung it open, appalled to see Tavros, soaking wet from rain, squeezing past him.

The boy ignored John when he greeted him and turned on their tv, changing it to the ID channel. He sat hard, shushing any questions. He'd just made it for the end of the episode, where they interviewed family members and investigators for the last time. He looked up at Gamzee when the credits began to roll and an awkward silence began to settle in.

Gamzee was the fist to speak, his voice awed and quiet. "I forgot all about that motherfuckin dateline shit," he said quietly. "I was so blazed during that whole time."

Karkat gave a grunt of testimony and Tavros could almost hear the pain behind it. Tavros stood up, looking around. His eyes lingered on John who was staring, baffled and wide-eyed.

"Is this all true?" Tavros asked breathlessly.

Gamzee gave a timid nod, looking down with his hands in his pockets. "You'd...uh...see why you wouldn't motherfuckin believe me if I told you. Specially cus I had nothin to show for it, y'know?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tavros asked desperately, holding his palms out to show his surrender to the unbelievable idea.

"I mean...I tried to a little..." He kicked his foot a bit, looking like a child who had just gotten his hand caught in the cookie jar. "I didn't wanna motherfuckin freak you out and shit. I mean...would you have even believed me? I can barely believe this shit myself!"

"But how did...I mean...Dave?" He scratched the back of his head, frowning. "What about...I...none of this makes any sense!" Tavros cried, throwing his arms up.

Gamzee nodded slightly, frowning. "You might wanna ask Dave whatever else you wanna know. I just know I lost you, found you, and don't wanna let you go. Someone here hasn't been 100 fucking percent honest here."

Tavros looked back at John who was watching with a twin expression of disbelief to Karkat who's disbelief seemed to turn to silent rage.

"I guess...I, uh, should...huh?" the small boy murmured. He flinched when his phone suddenly vibrated. He picked it up and frowned. "It's Dave," he grumbled. Tavros read the text that simply stated 'We need to talk.'

* * *

><p>Dave was sitting on the couch, staring at the television that had been paused as Tavros had left it. He looked up when Tavros entered, concern written on his face. "I meant to tell you as soon as I could."<p>

"Seven years?" Tavros scoffed from the doorway. "You made me believe I...didn't have any life before you for seven years? And you were going to tell me as soon as you could? How soon was that, Dave? thirty years? fifty?"

Dave hung his head. Shame. "I love you more than anything Tavros-"

"If you loved me you would have let me live my life!" Tavros cried. He didn't appear angry. He wasn't. He was hurt. Betrayed.

"I just wanted you to be happy." Dave paused for a moment and added, as an afterthought; "With me."

"Dave I...you...There were ways you could have..." Tavros frowned, fidgeting. "You couldn't have...just...told me?"

"You would have gone back to that asshole!" Dave snapped, gesturing to the door as if Gamzee might lie beyond it.

Tavros cringed, looking down as he hid his hands in his long sleeves. "Dave I...really don't know what to think. Gamzee loves me. You love me. And so far you've lied the most. And...not for...me...for yourself."

Dave's brow creased and he sat down, hard, putting his head in his hands. "Tavros I just...I'm not good at expressing myself. I love you so fucking much it hurts, but I only hurt you and...ugh I'm so stupid!" He threw his arms up, cursing the invisible powers that be.

Tavros watched him pitifully, hesitating for a moment before he moved and sat next to the blonde. "Dave you...you should have told me when you found out."

"You don't get it," Dave whispered brokenly.

Tavros frowned deeply. "I...of course I do."

Dave shook his head. "I always knew. Tavros that dream you had...it was a memory. It really happened. We were best friends. I was going to ask you out, but fucking...Terezi...fucking Gamzee." His mouth tightened and he clutched his pants angrily. "When I found you...it was a complete miracle. When I rushed you to the hospital and discovered you had amnesia, it was an opportunity. A sick, depraved opportunity."

Tavros stared, shocked into silence. "But...Gamzee...didn't even know you?"

"He didn't give a fuck who I was back then. He was just this big fucking loser druggie, and he still is-!" Dave cooled his anger when he saw Tavros' expression grow defensive. "He's...no good Tavros. We can stay how we were. I'll let you do whatever you want. I'll spoil you, Tavros. I need you."

Tavros continued to stare, feeling his heart give way though his mind screamed at him to heel. "One more night. I'll stay here for one more night," he finally settled. "And after that I'll stay at Johns and sort this out on my own."

Dave drew Tavros into a tight hug, placing little kisses against his neck. "That's all I ask," he whispered.


	19. Remembrance

SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS JUST. Shit. Utter and complete shit. I have just sort of reached my limit with this one. It's almost over and I WILL finish it! I've just been...really, really uninspired.

I'm also working on something I'd hope to have published one day. It's in the very rough stages, but I've got two chapters done. Anyone who's interested in reading it (Although I don't know why you would be OTL) Can ask me and I'll link you to it. c:

SO YES PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR THIS UTTER SHIT.

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><p>Tavros groaned as the first beams of light found their way through his curtains. He rubbed his eyes, and turned over, familiar warmth comforting at his side. He chuckled and turned to spoon the man beside him. "Morning Gamzee," he cooed, his voice still groggy with sleep.<p>

"Mm," came the lethargic reply. Gamzee never was a morning person. Tavros chuckled again and leaned over, kissing the side of the other man's head. When he opened his eyes and blur slowly faded away, something froze him. That wasn't Gamzee's typical black fluff, but straight blonde locks that were slightly mussed from a long night's sleep. The face was slightly aged, maybe in their late twenties, too.

Tavros panicked immediately. He gasped and threw himself off the bed, crawling along the floor as quickly as he could until he was in the bathroom. He closed the door fast, locking it and fiddled desperately with his phone, almost on the verge of tears. He heard the man that had invaded his bed stir, but couldn't hear him moving around or making any other sort of ruckus.

He didn't comprehend the names in his contacts list or that his phone seemed somehow different. He just pressed himself against the wall and placed the phone shakily to his ear, trying to stay as quiet as possible.

"Hello?"

"Gamzee! Gamzee where are you? O-Oh my God there's someone in the h-house- I-In our bed. G-Gamzee I'm scared! Please help-" He could hear how ragged and breathless his voice sounded. He wiped terrified tears from his eyes and inhaled a big sob. "Some man...blonde...G-Gamzee hurry!" he whispered loudly, earnestly trying to suppress his cries.

There was silence for a long time and Tavros began to panic more, the anxiety bubbling up in his chest until he was sure his little heart would give out.

"Stay right where you are. I'm coming." Click.

Tavros dropped his phone, a loud hiccup resounding through the bathroom involuntarily. "Shit," he whispered, burying his face in his knees so he couldn't make any other loud noises. He could hear something behind the door. It was blankets shifting as a foreign body moved around.

"Tavros?"

Tavros wanted to scream. The intruder knew him. Was it some creepy stalker? Had he been raped? "Oh God, oh God, oh God," he screamed in his head, trembling violently. He was too young to die. He went rigid when the door handle jiggled and there was a knock.

"Tavros?"

"Go away! I don't know you!" Tavros screamed. "My b-boyfriend is coming to get me right n-now!" He pressed his hand into his chest to keep it from heaving too much.

There was silence on the other side of the door, just like with Gamzee on the phone, then a small gasp could be heard and the jiggling became more incessant. "Tavros it's me!" the man yelled, banging on the door with a strong fist. "Open the door this instant!"

Tavros was on the verge of hyperventilating at that. He shook, covering his head and ears as he sobbed in fear. He continued to talk quietly to himself to drown out the sound of the other, too afraid to confront him.

It seemed like an eternity went by before he heard Gamzee's strong voice yelling at the other man. He wanted to leave the bathroom and run into Gamzee's arms, but he was afraid. And he felt incredibly selfish. What if the other man was armed and hurt Gamzee? That sent a new panic rushing through him and he stood as they fought on the other side of the door. "Oh God, oh God, oh God," Tavros whimpered, shakily getting to his feet.

He licked his lips and his breathing was labored, but something managed to catch his eye. He turned to the mirror, something in it seemed wrong from the corner of his eye. He flinched and ducked for a moment, but peered back up, righting himself again. The man in the mirror was not him. Couldn't be him. Looked more like his father. He raised his right hand, waving it and the movement was so confusing he nearly jumped out of his own skin.

"That's not me," he whispered, leaning in. He leaned back again, then ducked down and moved back up. "I-I'm dreaming." He looked thicker. Not with weight but more with muscle, and his hair was longer than it had been only the day before. The contours of his face were deep and mature and any signs of youth had changed from boy to young man. His body began shaking again, a ringing in his ears making it hard to concentrate on any sound outside of it. He did register the door as it was forced open from the corner of his eye.

He turned, looking dazed and terrified. His eyes forced themselves to focus on the two before him. The intruder actually looked familiar, his confused mind managed to notice. "Dave?" he whispered. His eyes flicked to Gamzee. He didn't have his makeup on and he looked older too. He didn't even look like Gamzee, hardly. Tavros watched as they both seemed apprehensive to approach him.

"Tavros?" Gamzee asked. "When do you think it is?" his voice was slow and calculated, deep.

Tavros's eyes flicked back and forth between them and before he knew it he'd blacked out from the shock.

* * *

><p>Tavros could hear bickering around him. Gamzee and his father, no doubt. What a strange dream he'd had. What was it supposed to mean and why did he have it in the first place? His head hurt too: Like he'd hit it on something hard. He groaned and shifted a bit. "Gamzee?" His mouth felt like cotton.<p>

"Tavros, thank God," he could hear what sounded like Gamzee say. His eyes fluttered open and he smiled, before another man caught his eyes. It was the older Dave from his dream...Which meant it wasn't a dream after all.

"What happened?" Tavros murmured, reaching up to lightly touch his forehead. He cringed and dropped his hand back to his side. "My head hurts."

"Don't move too much," Dave said, pushing Gamzee out of the way. "Tavros, I'm your husband, what's the last thing you remember?"

"You're his ex-fiance," Gamzee sneered, moving to Tavros' other side to take his free hand. "More importantly how are you feeling?"

Tavros shakily sat up, both Gamzee and Dave fussing over him and telling him to be careful or don't exert himself. "I feel okay," he sighed, not noticing how Gamzee looked at Dave triumphantly. "And the last thing I remember? Gamzee and I were at a party...we came home and I was really tired. I uh...had to get up early to meet with Rox, Jane and Vris." Tavros grabbed his head suddenly, groaning as it throbbed. "It hurts..."

"Fuck," Dave cursed under his breath. Gamzee was positively beaming. "Move," Dave demanded, forcing Gamzee away. "Tavros I'm going to ask you a few questions, alright? Answer them the best you can." He surfed around in his medical bag and pulled out his stethoscope and small flashlight. "Do you know where you are?" he asked, shining the flashlight in Tavros' eyes.

Tavros scrunched his nose and squinted. "Gamzee's mansion." He registered the room around him. "But I don't recognize this room."

"Tavros I'm going to tell you some really shocking information, but you have to stay calm, alright? If you don't stay calm you might have another episode," Dave explained slowly.

Tavros looked unsure, but gave a hesitant nod. "O-Okay..."

"Seven years ago, you and your friends left on your trip. You were run off the road by a group of mobsters in the middle of nowhere. Your friends...didn't make it, but you managed to get away and I saved you-" Dave shot a glare at Gamzee when he scoffed. "You're my fiance."

Tavros trembled, near hyperventilating. "But...Gamzee..." He looked at the man with round eyes.

"Wasn't there for you," Dave said.

"Ex-motherfucking-scuse me?" Gamzee snapped, only softening his heated sneer when he saw Tavros flinch. "Tavros don't listen to him he's a fucking sociopath! He-"

Dave grabbed Gamzee by the collar and silenced him, his eyes set intently. "You're going to shock him straight into a coma. He's got a head injury so we don't know what he actually believes," he hissed in a whisper, pushing Gamzee backwards. "If you care about him you'll leave him be so I can take care of him for the time being."

"You mean so you can try to motherfuckin convince him I'm the villain and you're the good guy," Gamzee countered quietly.

"I -did- save him," Dave growled.

"P-Please don't fight you guys," Tavros said meekly. They both turned to look at him, backing away from each other.

"We'll be right back Tavros. Call if you need help," Dave said, gesturing for Gamzee to follow. When the blonde wasn't looking, Gamzee leaned down and kissed Tavros' temple.

"We'll get this all sorted out," he whispered.

* * *

><p>"Well," Dave said. "He's got his memories back."<p>

"Yep."

"It seems we're at an impasse."

"Yep."

"But, we must remember, even though Tavros thinks you're his boyfriend, I'm actually his fiance," Dave said, narrowing his eyes.

"You're a liar and a motherfuckin asshole on top of that," Gamzee growled. "You better tell Tavros the fucking truth or so help me motherfucking God I will kill you."

"Step off clown," Dave said, holding his hands up to ward Gamzee off. "You think you're entitled to Tavros now just because of a seven year old infatuation?"

"We dated for four years," Gamzee sneered.

"We've date for four years and have been engaged for three," Dave replied, smug. It was true, but all that time had gone since then. "Tavros is mine and I won't have some dumb stoner taking him from me again," he sneered.

There was a sudden tension in the air as pieces began to come together. "Why did Tavros remember your name if he's forgotten the last seven years...?"

Dave lifted his chin, watching as Gamzee's mind worked to solve the puzzle. He watched the man's face from under his sunglasses, waiting.

"Again..." Realization was evident in indigo eyes and he gaped. "Dave. Strider. Strider...that awkward fucking blonde that was always hangin around Tavros."

"Took you long enough," Dave said, brushing his fingers through his hair. "Tavros was supposed to be mine, but you took him from me."

"Dude if Tavros liked you he wouldn't have gone out with me! You're going to fucking smother him to death," Gamzee hissed.

"Tavros!"

Dave and Gamzee both flinched when they heard a scream and the front door slamming open. They turned almost in perfect unison to see John flying up the stairs, brushing past them and into Dave and Tavros' room. The two men turned to look at each other, baffled, then gasped. Dave spoke first. "Tavros won't-"

"Remember him," Gamzee finished, his mouth setting into a line. They both hurried into the room, but it was too late.

"Tavros I'm your -best friend-. John! We're best friends! For seven years!" John tried to explain, exasperated. "Tavros c'mon there's no way you could have forgotten me, okay? Joke's over. Ha ha, you guys are so hilarious! Everyone freak out John Egbert. Wow so sensitive. We really got him good, ha ha ha. Look I know you're joking, so stop it! It's really mean!"

"John," Dave sighed, pushing his glasses up to rub at his eyes. "He really doesn't remember."

John frowned, looking as if he were about to cry. "Well...that's good!" he said, smiling though it held no joy or hope. Only sadness. "Now we can just...become best friends all...over again..."

Tavros frowned, fidgeting as he looked down at his lap. "S-Sorry..." he murmured. "I really don't remember."


End file.
